Cherry Blossom Blooming (Book Three)
by grimrose
Summary: Haruno Sakura's made Chuunin, but she's not really a Chuunin yet - not in spirit. Pitched into more high level missions, from here it's either sink or float. And what's this about a friendship with a certain former serial killer from Suna...?
1. Chapter 1

**Book Three**

1.

I went downstairs for breakfast one morning shortly after the invasion, and my mother handed me a letter absently on her trip by. (She'd just retrieved our mail from the mail box.)

"What's this?" I asked in confusion, holding up the envelope.

"I don't know," said my Mom, her eyes focused on what looked like a bill. "It just came in the post for you."

I looked down at the envelope. The handwriting was very good, almost intimidatingly so, the sign of a professional trainer. It spelled out my name and village, but not my exact address, which meant I probably hadn't gotten the letter for several days after it arrived in Konoha. The inter-village post office box was a general place for a huge assortment of letters, two reserve ninja with pityingly boring jobs assigned to go through each individual letter and find the address of the person it was intended for, after assessing that there was nothing dangerous inside the letter.

That was when I saw the return address: this letter came from a place in Suna.

I held the letter as though it were a snake. The envelope had already been opened, so surely the insides had been checked for any sign of danger. But still, what other business could someone from Suna possibly have concerning me?

At last, curiosity getting the better of me, I did a quick chakra scan before slitting open the envelope and taking out the letter to read its inside contents.

The message was short and to the point:

 _Sakura -_

 _I am sorry. I don't expect you to forgive me, or even to believe me, but I am._

 _Gaara_

* * *

It was absolutely unbelievable. I stood there gaping at the letter until my mother finally asked me in vague concern, "Sakura? Are you alright?"

A whole mess of reactions welled up within me, and I couldn't decide which to express first. Anger finally won out, anger and bewilderment:

"That - that - that _asshole_!" I threw the letter down and went to storm up the stairs. Paused. Went back down the stairs. Grabbed up the letter. And _then_ proceeded to storm indignantly back to my room!

I paced up and down the floor inside, my cat watching me from the corner with his tail swishing as if he understood _exactly_ what was going on and held the entire affair in utter contempt. I'm sorry? _I'm sorry_?! After all that, _that_ was what he had to say?!

I reminded myself of all the reasons I had to hate Gaara: his wanton sadism, his crippling of Lee, his attempt to kill Shino, his attempt to kill Naruto, his threats to kill me, his utter insanity, all the bloody murders he had probably instigated with little provocation -

I had every reason not to respond to the letter at all, or to respond back with furious words. I had every reason to hate Gaara!

So why did my anger feel so... hollow?

I sat down slowly on my bed, trying to puzzle this out. I realized after a while that my anger simply masked a deeper emotion: I had no idea how to respond. There was just something so _raw_ about those few simple words and the utter humility it must have taken to write them. I thought about it: he had made the decision to write the letter, he'd written _that_ and then left the letter there because he knew there was nothing else he could say, and then he'd sent the letter in the general direction of my village hoping (possibly in vain) that it would reach who it was intended to reach. And he'd done all that instead of doing something like looking me up in a telephone directory, as if the idea of a conversation frightened him. The way he avoided anything like face to face conversation indicated - incredibly - some sort of shame.

I had heard him apologize to his siblings. He'd made them leave without fighting us, as if he no longer had a reason to.

The idea was almost impossible, but... was Gaara trying? Was Sabaku no Gaara, of all people, genuinely trying to be a better person?

The possibility threw me, and I almost dismissed it out of hand. _He was basically stalking you,_ I reminded myself. _It's amazing he hadn't memorized your home address._ Gaara had admitted that not even he knew why he was so fascinated by me, though it was obvious in retrospect that it was because I reminded him of his more human history.

That brought me to the question: Why write to _me_?

And all of a sudden, I realized I was going to respond to him, because I wanted to know. Gai had warned me about being fascinated with Gaara, but what could even Gaara do, trapped in his own village whole countries away?

* * *

 _Gaara -_

 _Why apologize if you don't expect me to believe you?_

 _I've decided not to hold onto any hatred. It would just be unhealthy. I'm not sure if you really mean what you say, but either way, if it matters to you, you have my full and free forgiveness._

 _Why did you decide to write to me?_

 _Sakura_

* * *

 _Sakura -_

 _I don't know what else to do. I've been apologizing to a lot of people. I've had several doors slammed in my face. How does one go about convincing a whole village full of people who hate them that they are capable of being... human?_

 _I don't even know if I'm capable of being human. But you and Naruto claim that I am._

 _I wrote to you because you said that you'd have been friends with me if I'd allowed it. You said the only thing keeping me from friendship was myself. I didn't believe you, so I decided to write to you to silence your voice in my head._

 _And yet you responded. If you're writing to feel better about yourself, you really shouldn't._

 _Gaara_

* * *

 _Gaara -_

 _I'm not writing to you to feel better about myself. I'm writing to you because I want to._

 _I guess the only thing I can tell you is to keep trying. Keep being kind to people and protecting people. Don't just give up after the first few tries. Try to stay calm, and be patient. I know you're not very good at that, but try anyway._

 _I can't imagine how alone you must feel. Is there any possibility you could reach out to your siblings?_

 _There are a lot of changes going on in your village, aren't there?_

 _Sakura_

* * *

 _Sakura -_

 _I am used to being alone. I have gotten a lot of strange looks recently, though. Especially from Kankurou and Temari. I just went to them and told them I wanted to show people I am capable of being kind. They looked at me as if I had grown another head. It was very irritating._

 _My brother said, "It's that Leaf bitch, isn't it?" My brother is confusing._

 _My father is dead. I hated him, so I am not sure how to feel. No one dared make me go to his funeral. We have been moved out of the Kazekage's place and we each now have our own quarters in a complex close to the center of the city. There are no servants here. It is very strange._

 _Suna's pride has been tarnished. That is what the council says. Things here have been rather quiet. No one was expecting the betrayal._

 _Perhaps it was unwise to ally ourselves with a powerful ninja who had already betrayed another village, but no one dares question my wise father._

 _And as to your village?_

 _Gaara_

* * *

 _Gaara -_

 _You didn't threaten to kill them, did you?_

 _I would think you would be glad your father is dead. No one's trying to kill you anymore. But he was still your father, so maybe that's asking for too much._

 _In Konoha, things have mostly moved on. Maybe that sounds strange, but there was no real damage done, so we held a funeral for those who had died and then we went back to normal. I've been hanging out with my friends and training with my teammates. I haven't had any big missions as a Chuunin yet._

 _Sakura_

* * *

 _Sakura -_

 _No, I didn't threaten to kill them. What an odd question. Why would that be significant?_

 _Gaara_

* * *

 _Gaara -_

 _Just trust me. It is. Try to hold off on the whole "threatening to kill people" thing, see what it does for your reputation. Just a piece of personal advice._

 _Sakura_

* * *

Our letters moved from there, slowly, into other topics. We quickly forewent the usual post in favor of messenger hawk, which was actually faster - Gaara appeared fond of them, in any case. I found out Gaara was a reader, like me. He didn't always while away those long, sleepless nights by painting the walls with other people's blood, as it turned out. Sometimes, while everyone else was sleeping, he just read. We started recommending and sending books to each other. I had never had anyone I could really talk to about stuff like that before. Gaara was actually very intelligent.

I also found out that he grew cacti. He sent me a tiny one in a pot once and I put it next to my window. It was kind of pretty in its own weird, prickly little way, with red flowers along its length.

I tried to turn him on to all my favorite music. He listened to it, discerned it was mostly pop, and told me he was bewildered by my odd taste. I feigned indignation, and then he didn't get it and sent me back a letter full of apologies, which was endearing in its own stiff, socially awkward sort of way. I sent him another letter telling him I had just been kidding.

I don't suppose people kidded with him very often.

We also traded information about missions, both of us purposefully vague on any details. I told him about my experiences, and I discerned that he was mostly sent out on missions that were solo and extremely bloody, focused on things like guarding and assassinations. He was still treated like a weapon by the Suna council, and that made me sad, which he told me he didn't understand.

We kept in touch. I didn't tell anyone else about it, except for Naruto, who actually got really emotional and told me it was an incredibly positive thing I was doing. "You're like his Iruka," he tried to explain, and I wasn't sure what that meant, but I took it that it was good.

All throughout the rest of this book, after I got back from missions or important events, when I got a chance I would send a letter to Gaara. He always wrote back, and except for the occasional pause during a mission, his replies came back faster and faster. I thought maybe it helped him, to have a connection with the outside world. I never got any hints of insanity or any sudden murders. I took that as a good sign.

* * *

That day started out as a day much like any other. Ino, Hinata, and I walked to team seven's meeting bridge together, chatting idly about this and that. We met Naruto there, who kissed Hinata as I smiled and looked away uncomfortably. Hinata would be beaming and Naruto would be smiling and they'd murmur to each other with their faces close together and it was all very gooey.

Then, when Ino and Hinata left, Sasuke would show up. He'd be sweaty and covered in dirt from training and extremely satisfied - Kakashi was giving Sasuke intensive training not only in Sharingan usage, but also in chakra control, water spells, and in more advanced weaponry. Sasuke had told us with pride that Kakashi was thinking of putting Sasuke into contact with a master in swordsmanship.

Sasuke, Naruto, and I would then set to sparring.

We were about halfway through this when a voice suddenly said from directly behind Naruto, "Huh. You're kissing girls _and_ you don't have bad form. Not often you see those two things together."

We all whirled around, freaking out - I went for a hand seal, Sasuke threw weapons, and Naruto launched himself bodily at the intruder, only for the intruder to hold him back boredly by the head.

"Down, Fido," said none other than Jiraiya-sama, the tall, broad shouldered Sannin with the long white hair.

"J-Jiraiya-sama -" I began, bowing. I kicked Sasuke in the shin, for he was staring at the intruder with open suspicion.

Jiraiya chuckled. "Ah, I always love it when cute girls call me that," he said. Then he struck a pose. "Yes, it is none other than I, Jiraiya-sama, the Toad Sage!"

"What are you doing here?" Naruto asked rudely; he might not have exactly gotten over the 'Fido' comment.

"I'm here, you jumpy little shit -" Jiraiya rolled his eyes. "To offer you training!" he finished with a grand kind of sarcasm, spreading his arms wide.

Naruto gaped. He wasn't the only one. "Why would you take an interest in Naruto?" Sasuke asked at last. "No offense intended this time. But he's usually the last one people look at."

"Yeah, the whole 'troublemaking demon' thing tends to put people off, for some reason," Naruto added.

Jiraiya shrugged. "I saw you at the Exam. You impressed me."

"More than Sakura?" Naruto questioned, raising an eyebrow. I was impressed. _I think Naruto just pulled a Me._

Jiraiya was uncomfortable for a moment. He looked around. "Look, kid," he muttered. "Just accept, alright?"

"I'm not accepting anything without Kakashi-sensei -!"

"He's already agreed for you!"

"Ha! And I'm supposed to believe that?!"

"I knew your parents, you whiny little shit!"

The Great Uzumaki Naruto was struck silent. He stared at Jiraiya with very big, round eyes. But I knew in that moment that Naruto was going to give in.

"Oh," said Naruto at last. "Well. That's different." He looked at the ground and scuffed a shoe sheepishly.

"There, see?" Jiraiya grumbled. "Funny. I expected that to be easier."

"How do all these people just _know_ Naruto's parents?" I wondered aloud. Sasuke and Naruto looked at me curiously. "I mean, what, one of them couldn't have taken him in? I get that this village has sort of an 'eh, the village will raise them' attitude toward orphans, but it seems a little weird to me."

"Actually..." Naruto frowned. "I was just so happy to know people who knew them. I'd never thought about that before."

Three sets of glares were turned on a suddenly nervous Jiraiya. "Kakashi was barely a teenager," I said, hands on my hips. "What's your excuse?"

Jiraiya stared at me for a moment. "I don't like you," he announced at last. I tried not to let this get to me, despite how important a person he probably was. Old Me would have been bothered. New Me was too busy protecting her friend Naruto.

Jiraiya shifted uncomfortably. "Look, let's just say I wouldn't have been an ideal parent," he said. "I like women. I like alcohol. And I like them both a _lot._ What can I say? Essentially, I'm selfish. I wasn't willing to give all that shit up. Figured it was probably better to wait until the kid was older and could handle himself." Jiraiya shrugged philosophically.

"Well." I crossed my arms. "Then I don't like you either."

"I'm hurt," Jiraiya assured me sarcastically.

"I don't know if I want to go off and train with someone like that!" Naruto announced then, and Jiraiya's eyes widened in alarm and also something like disbelief.

"You're telling me," he said, "that I have to _ask_ you to train with a legendary ninja who wants to offer you lots of awesome techniques? Seriously?"

Naruto faded. "Well... when you put it like that, it seems kinda dumb," he muttered.

Jiraiya brightened and clapped him on the shoulder. "I knew you'd see it my way!" he said. "Meet me here tomorrow, we're going on a little training trip!"

Jiraiya ran away. "Hey -!" Naruto began, and then Jiraiya suddenly disappeared. "I never said... yes..." Naruto faded, glaring at the spot where Jiraiya had disappeared in annoyance. Then he turned to us.

"Well," Sasuke said at last, "have fun with the drunken womanizer, Naruto. Don't forget to write."

* * *

All jokes aside, we actually _were_ both there at the bridge to see Naruto off the next day. We had become a family of a sort, and this felt natural. We both envied Naruto his good fortune, but we supported him at the same time. Naruto had his pack of things with him and was standing there at the bridge when we walked up.

"He hasn't arrived yet?" I asked. Naruto shook his head.

So we settled in to wait. More time passed... and then more... "What is it with powerful ninja being late to things?" I asked at last.

"It's a curse," said Sasuke immediately. "The Curse of the Tardy Jounin."

"Sounds like a murder mystery," said Naruto decisively.

"Seriously, though," I said, standing up. "Shouldn't we be looking for him? They can't all be like Kakashi."

"He said he likes women and alcohol," said Naruto. "We should look for him at bars. And restaurants. And onsen."

"Onsen?" I asked, caught off guard.

"Yeah. You know. 'Cause they're good for peeking on women. How do you think I got so good at transforming into naked chicks?"

Sasuke looked vaguely horrified at the mental image. "I want to hit you so hard right now," I promised Naruto, who was blinking at us in all apparent innocence.

So we walked downriver, passing different parts of town, looking for a section that seemed likely. Eventually, we had walked far enough that we saw... "Hey," I said, stopping, squinting, "are those ninja fighting on top of the water?"

Farther downriver, two ninja in black cloaks with red clouds on them were surrounded by five adult ninja, and one of them - We stopped and stared. One of them was Kakashi. Another was Jiraiya. I realized Gai was there too, and Kurenai, and Asuma. They had two enemy ninja surrounded. The killing intent coming from the battle was very, very real. Everyone's expressions were serious, deadly.

"Someone tipped my old Sensei off," I heard Jiraiya say sharply, in a much more dangerous voice. "We heard you were coming."

"Damnit!" I heard one of the ninja hiss. He had a peculiar blue face with sharp teeth and strange gill-like markings. He was wearing a slashed exile hitai-ate from Kiri. "Who would -?" He was looking around himself sharply, shiftily, clutching his huge sword behind him. He looked prepared to do something drastic. I would be too, if I were surrounded by three Jounin, a Sannin, and the Copycat Ninja.

"We won't be able to get through without causing a scene and sustaining deadly injuries," his partner predicted, analytically and with an eerily toneless quality. "We should retreat. He is too heavily protected." The partner had long dark hair and deep-set, velvet eyes and pale, sharp features. He was very attractive. And, I realized with a start, he was oddly familiar. In fact, he looked a lot like an older version of...

Naruto'd had the same thought. "Hey, Sasuke," said Naruto curiously, "that guy looks just like you." We looked over at Sasuke...

Only to find Sasuke's face twisted in hatred, his eyes cold and dark, locked on the unfamiliar ninja. "That's because he's my _brother_ ," he spat, and too late I realized the man had a slashed Konoha hitai-ate. That was the man who had killed Sasuke's entire family.

By the time I had processed this, Sasuke was already running toward the fight.

"Damnit -!" I said, and then turned to Naruto. "Come on, let's go, he's our teammate," I sighed in dread, and, my stomach knotted with nerves, because I knew _exactly_ what I was getting myself into, I ran beside Naruto after Sasuke.

The adult ninja turned around. "Sasuke, stay back -!" I heard Kakashi bark instinctively, but Sasuke didn't even seem to hear him. He was still crying out, charging at his brother, who had stilled in surprise, his face still impossible to read.

Then the brother's eyes moved beyond Sasuke, and locked onto Naruto. "Ah. There he is, Kisame," said the Uchiha man, in mild, pleasant surprise. "Our target."

Wait - what?

" _Shit,"_ I heard Jiraiya say clearly.

I paused, pulling Naruto's arm to stop him, and then the two missing nin disappeared. I gasped and whirled around; there they were, right behind us, and then there, so fast I couldn't even track him, was Jiraiya, a bodily shield between us and the missing nin after Naruto. "You're not getting him," said Jiraiya in a deadly voice.

"Wait, why the hell would they want me?" Naruto asked, bewildered.

I had already guessed. "Think of what you hold, Naruto," I said, getting into a stance and watching the missing nin warily. They were _not_ getting my teammate, I didn't care who they were. Naruto's eyes had widened in realization.

"So they do know about it," said the Uchiha man, and then he continued, "... _Interesting."_

Suddenly, a rope of water whipped up out of the river from behind the Uchiha man and wrapped around his neck! The eyes widened briefly... and then the figure turned into a Bunshin made of mud and melted away into the river.

I turned around. Sasuke, his Sharingan activated, had made the water spell, but suddenly an arm burst out from the river below him and wrapped around his ankle. Sasuke's eyes widened and he was yanked down into the depths, only just managing to pull himself free. His brother rose up out of the water and there was a brief and furious taijutsu fight, a quick whirl of fists and aborted motions amplified by the fact that each could predict the other's movements accurately with their Sharingan. The older brother quickly proved superior, which made sense with how much more experience he had. He broke past Sasuke's guard and wrapped a hand around his neck, only for Sasuke to replace with one of the branches of a tree trailing its leaves out into the river.

Sasuke jumped out from the tree, throwing a barrage of shuriken and following it up with a blown fireball spell. He was doing well. I was torn. I wanted to help him, but at the same time I didn't want to draw attention to Naruto beside me. I also knew, deep down, that this was Sasuke's fight. He'd never forgive me if I interfered.

Then Sasuke's brother did something incredible. With one hand, he caught each shuriken with the hole through its center by the tips of his fingers, and then with his other hand he ran through a series of one-handed seals and canceled out the fire spell with a wind one.

Sasuke's brother, like Kakashi, was an expert in all the elements.

Sasuke whirled out toward his brother with a kick; his brother dodged slightly, caught the leg, and flung Sasuke away almost irritably. His eyes had narrowed. Then he turned back toward Naruto dismissively.

Crying out in fury, Sasuke righted himself atop the water and ran back toward his brother, making hand seals for another spell...

Then Sasuke's brother disappeared again. He reappeared right behind his little brother. "Alright," he said sharply. " _Fine."_

He grabbed Sasuke by the hair, pulled him backward in a way that had to hurt his neck, bent Sasuke's head backwards, and looked directly into his eyes with a more complicated version of the same Sharingan Sasuke possessed.

I don't know what kind of hypnosis spell Sasuke's brother used, but Sasuke immediately began convulsing and screaming.

"Damnit," said Kakashi clearly.

"I knew he couldn't do it. It's too soon. He's not strong enough to kill his brother yet, Sharingan or no Sharingan," said Asuma.

"Sensei," I said, because no one seemed to have noticed, " _he's torturing him!"_

There was a splash behind me. Jiraiya and the other missing nin, Kisame, were fighting, Jiraiya dodging and parrying blows from Kisame's sword.

"Kurenai," said Kakashi sharply, "get Naruto and Sakura out of here. Asuma, Gai: our new goal is to separate Sasuke from Itachi and deal with Itachi."

Naruto had been running through hand seals, about to go help his friend, but he was pulled back by the arm by Kurenai, who had suddenly appeared behind us. "Let's go," she said sharply.

"But we want to help -!"

"And what would you do?" Kurenai asked, suddenly severe. "He can see through all genjutsu, block all elemental spells, and accurately predict and copy all taijutsu. He's fast, clever, and at least Jounin level. He's actively looking for the Kyuubi's power. What exactly would you do?"

We were pulled away from the fight, Jiraiya blocking Kisame from getting to us and the other three Jounin blocking Uchiha Itachi. I looked around over my shoulder just in time to see Sasuke, limp and unconscious, be pulled away from Itachi protectively by an angry and deadly serious Kakashi. Itachi, though powerless to reach us, was looking in our direction, his crimson Sharingan swirling, his eyes cold and alert and dead.

I shivered, looking away and running after Kurenai and Naruto.

* * *

The two missing nin ran away, beating a tactical retreat, deciding the defenses around Konoha's demon container were too strong. I asked the Konoha Jounin, later, why they'd let the two leave. "Because we couldn't have stopped them without dying," said Asuma dryly, and the honesty to his words was incredible. Itachi had left Kakashi with the insensate form of his brother.

We were all gathered later around a hospital bed. Sasuke was in it, pale and still and unconscious. It was so different from how he normally was. I frowned in worry, my hand in his.

"He bore extensive mental damage," said Kakashi. "Itachi put him in an illusive world only accessible to talented carriers of the Sharingan. There, he can give you the illusion that you are being tortured for days in a matter of seconds." There was a deep undercurrent of anger in his words. All the members of the fight were gathered in Sasuke's hospital room.

"So how do we heal him?" I asked, looking up.

There was a long silence. "No one in this village," Kakashi admitted painfully at last, "knows how to do that."

"So... so he'll _never_ wake up?!" They winced at my loud, disbelieving tone.

"There's gotta be something we can do!" said Naruto, standing upright. "Guys, who _were_ those people? Why were they after me?"

Another uncomfortable pause. The Jounin shared glances which were full of meaning and entirely annoying. "They are part of an organization of dangerous missing nin called Akatsuki," said Jiraiya, very serious. "This organization seems to be after demonic magic. No one is sure why. That's all the information my spy ring has managed to gather.

"And Sasuke recognized Uchiha Itachi because Uchiha Itachi is his older brother. Itachi is the one who killed their clan."

"The one Sasuke's sworn to kill," I murmured, remembering. "That's why he attacked him, why he looked so angry." I thought about it. "Why would anyone torture their own brother?" I asked, disturbed.

"Why does Itachi do anything?" Gai asked. "He was a genius, an extraordinarily talented ninja. He was an ANBU captain by the time he was thirteen. People think he couldn't handle the psychological stress of being a ninja at such a young age. One day, he just... snapped. Killed everybody. Ran away. The man's not in his right mind."

I thought of the eerily toneless quality to Uchiha Itachi, and I thought perhaps it reminded me a little bit of Gaara.

"So what do we do about Sasuke?" Naruto asked forcefully, bringing the conversation back around to its central point. "There has to be some way we can get him back to the way he was!"

There was a pained silence. "Whenever something like this happens," Gai said at last, "I always wish _she_ was here. The genius healer..."

"Tsunade?" I asked. Everyone looked over at me. "The last Sannin? I read about her. She was the most brilliant medic ever to hit the ninja world. She's rumored to have incredible healing powers. She'd... she'd have been able to heal Lee as well, wouldn't she?" I shared a glance with Gai.

Jiraiya nodded. "The peace has been broken," he intoned. "Between Akatsuki and Orochimaru... I just got back from a meeting with Sensei. He said we need to bring Tsunade back. I've come back. And now Tsunade needs to come back. It's time she returned."

"So you'll be leaving to retrieve her?" Kakashi asked.

"Yes," said Jiraiya, "and I'm taking one of your students with me." He shrugged and looked over at a surprised Naruto, smirking. "I promised him a training trip. Why not a training trip that will double as an important mission in which he'll get to meet a really hot Sannin?"

"You want me to be there? Really?" Naruto brightened up.

"You seem to have some serious ambition and a way with words, kid. I saw it against that Hyuuga boy. God knows I'll need some powers of persuasion for this little venture. Tsunade hates this fucking place." I blinked at the strong wording.

"Is that why none of the Sannin stayed in Konoha?" I asked. "Do you all hate it here?"

"I'm... of better use on the outside," said Jiraiya carefully. I remembered his spy ring. "I just came back to Konoha to watch the Chuunin Exam. But it's true I'm the only one who ever kept in contact with our old Sensei. Tsunade simply left the village on more... amicable terms than Orochimaru. She left, instead of being exiled. If she came back, she would be welcomed. She just won't come back."

"Why not?" Naruto asked.

"You'll have to come with me to find out." Jiraiya smirked and Naruto scowled. It was a clear bribe.

"What about me?" I asked, and everyone looked around at me in surprise. "Lee and Sasuke are my teammates and friends as well," I said. "Don't I get to come?"

"I don't need you the way I need Naruto," said Jiraiya. "Why would I let you come?" The wording was blunt and rude. I wondered if you stopped caring about people's feelings when you became as powerful as a Sannin.

"Hey! Sakura-chan's even better than I am! If I get to come, she definitely does." Naruto frowned.

Jiraiya looked between us for a moment. "That's right," he said at last, thoughtfully. "You're one of the ones who warned us about the invasion." He eyed the Chuunin vest over my kunoichi dress.

"Damn right I am," I said, more confidently than I felt. I thrust my chin up defiantly and looked him in the eye. "And I'm Naruto's superior now. I also know about what he holds. I think I should be there to keep an eye on him."

I worried Naruto was going to get offended, but instead he kept looking from one speaker to the other as though he were watching a particularly interesting tennis match.

Jiraiya was watching me calculatingly. "What are your abilities?" he asked at last. "You're a genjutsu specialist, right?"

"I'm an illusions specialist, I'm good in close combat, and my element is fire. I've played important roles in two major missions, I killed one of Orochimaru's spies during the invasion, and I helped Naruto and Sasuke defeat Suna's demon container." I tried to sound confident. Sure of myself.

Jiraiya nearly smiled. "Jinchuuriki," he said, almost amused. "They're called jinchuuriki. How's her chakra control?" He turned to Kakashi.

"Exceptional," Kakashi confirmed. "She's quite talented."

I smiled, despite my best attempts to look serious.

"... Alright," Jiraiya allowed at last. "You can come. But only because you remind me a little of her. Of Tsunade," he explained, when I looked confused. "You have a little of her old spirit. I think maybe it would help her, seeing that."

* * *

Later, I would send a letter to Gaara, my last before leaving to go track down Tsunade with Naruto and Jiraiya. I couldn't guarantee no one else would read the note, so I made it purposefully bizarre, almost coded.

If the time ever came for him, he would understand.

 _Gaara -_

 _Be wary of intruders in black cloaks with red clouds on them. They're searching for monsters. Do not engage._

 _You might not hear from me for a while. Stay safe._

 _\- Sakura_


	2. Chapter 2

2.

We took up our packs and headed off on foot through the forests, canyons, and midsize logging towns of northern Fire Country. "How do we know where she'll be?" I asked.

"I know where she'll be," said Jiraiya, smirking. "Just follow the gambling to the place with lots of casinos."

We asked around for information on Tsunade in the towns we passed through - we asked for a gambling-crazed curvy blonde woman in her twenties, since Tsunade used genjutsu to avoid looking like she was aging - but it was obvious almost immediately that we were headed in the right direction.

We did stop once at a festival in a town on the way through the north. Jiraiya only let us buy a certain amount; in an unusual show of stern parenting, he took most of our money away from us and warned us against the three taboos of ninja. "The three things that make a ninja go bad," he intoned, "are alcohol, women, and money."

"You and Tsunade sound like you have those three covered," I pointed out, rather annoyed at being told I couldn't buy something by a relative stranger. "Who died and made you my parent?"

"Stop being impudent!" Jiraiya snapped. "I'm your guardian while you're here!"

I smirked. "See? You'd have made a great father to Naruto."

Jiraiya's eye twitched, just a little. "Still don't like you," he said.

"I'm hurt," I parroted in a perfect mockery of him. Jiraiya let me spend even less than Naruto, even as I complained loudly.

"I don't have any problem with the three taboos of being a ninja," Naruto pointed out, puzzled. " _You_ do."

"Do as I say, not as I do," said Jiraiya, before letting us loose into the festival.

I bought clothes and souvenirs for people back home while Naruto pigged out on the food. Then we played games together. Naruto won me a teddy bear, which I thought was very sweet of him. Jiraiya went off on his own - supposedly it was to gain information, but we found him drinking sake in a place for "female escorts" later on in the day. We decided not to go inside. He never gave us our money back and I secretly suspected he'd used it all up. I never gave my money away to a Sannin again.

Jiraiya started training Naruto right out of the gates of Konoha. He said there was a lot he wanted to cover. He had two things to teach Naruto, summoning frog creatures and then a chakra spell held in the hand called the Rasengan.

The first day out, Jiraiya had Naruto sign the frog summoning scroll and use the Kyuubi's power to summon a gigantic and surly frog boss called Gamabunta. Gamabunta shouted at Jiraiya for a while for daring to give their summoning scroll to a "little brat." Then he ran all over creation with shuddering earthquake leaps, bucking and tossing, trying to throw a stubborn Naruto off of his back. (Naruto stuck to Gamabunta's back with chakra all afternoon just to prove he could and then got into a shouting match with Gamabunta at the end of the day. After that, they were seemingly perfect friends.)

The Rasengan proved harder, and that was what Naruto focused on as we walked for the rest of that week.

There were three steps to learning the Rasengan: first one burst a water balloon by moving the water in several different directions at once with chakra, then one burst a rubber ball by making their chakra denser and more focused, and finally one combined the two to create a rotating ball of chakra in one's hand that spun constantly and could be drilled into a person's abdominal lining. It was a vicious and difficult technique, and Jiraiya took a very hands-off approach to training, letting Naruto figure out and master it on his own with only little hints of help. Naruto might not have gotten as far on his own, but I spent long nights sitting up and helping him manipulate his chakra, putting my big brain into trying to figure out logically how the spell would work and then using my finer chakra control to demonstrate on a smaller scale. The Rasengan took more chakra than I even had, but of course Naruto was able to master it.

By the time we reached Tsunade, he had it down.

* * *

"Jiraiya-sama," I began, walking up beside him sweetly, as we went down the trail.

"The answer is no," said Jiraiya flatly.

I drooped. "How do you know I was going to ask you for something?" I demanded, annoyed.

"Because you only call me Jiraiya-sama when you want something. And whatever you're asking for, the answer is _no."_

"But you don't even know what it is yet!"

"Don't have to."

"Look, you're giving Naruto all this training and -"

"No."

"Why won't you give me something?" I asked, trying not to sound like I was whining, even though I kind of was.

"I have no personal connection to you," said Jiraiya. "Also, you're mean to me."

"How adult of you."

"Not exactly helping your case there, kid." Jiraiya smirked wryly.

I sighed, trying to be patient. Obviously, I would have to resort to ulterior methods. I compiled three possible ideas in my mind and went for the first, which was easiest. "What can I do to make you change your mind?" I asked. "I could carry your bags for you, or give you more of my spending money..."

"No, and no. You're not at a level yet where you could fight me, and I like 'em older. There's nothing you could offer me that would make me change my mind."

That brought me to idea number two, which was take advantage of Jiraiya's weakness for women. I could always use a sensory genjutsu... My nose wrinkled in distaste at the idea. No way was I going to degrade myself like that!

So now came for idea number three.

"UGH." I pretended to give in, falling back. "Fine!" I looked back over my shoulder at Naruto, who was walking along, focused on the chakra in his hand. "... Jiraiya," I said, "Naruto's going to become stronger than me anyway, isn't he?" I was serious, almost sad. This, I didn't have to fake.

"Probably," said Jiraiya, still walking ahead of me.

"You know, when I first met him, I never would have expected it," I said. Jiraiya perked up slightly, listening. "Now that I know him a little better, I can see it, but... As a kid at the Academy, he was the class clown. He slacked off a lot and never did well on tests. He was actually really smart in the non-academic sense, but he only realized he could apply that to the field after I explained it to him."

" _You_ explained it to him?"

"Yeah. Like how I'm helping him with the Rasengan? We've become good friends, really. I was the first one he told about the Kyuubi. But this whole Akatsuki thing, it's pretty scary... I just wish I could do more for him..." I kept looking wistfully at Naruto. Or at least, I hoped that was how I came across.

Jiraiya paused, and then sighed. "Alright, I give, I give," he grumbled. I beamed as he waved me over to walk beside him again. "I guess it _would_ be useful for him, having a team member who understands seals besides Kakashi."

"You're going to teach me about fuuinjutsu?" I asked, interested.

"Yeah. How much do you already know?" Jiraiya asked me.

I listed off to him perfectly everything we'd been taught at the Academy, and then went on to talk about how Sasuke and I had figured out a chakra-signature-rigged seal during the second test of the Chuunin Exam. I was a little proud of myself.

"Huh," said Jiraiya. "I _would_ tell you that's pretty good for a Genin, but I think it would just go to your head."

I scowled.

And so as we walked, Jiraiya taught me about seals, sometimes writing things down so I could understand better. Simply put, a seal was a symbol written on paper with ink which often held objects and could effect other things with chakra.

Jiraiya taught me about two kinds of seals: the kinds of seals that could hold or release things - the ultimate in complexity of which were seals like Naruto's and Gaara's, which held demons - and the kinds of seals which could effect the chakra coils of other things. He taught that seals could be written on a body and activated with that body's chakra, which became useful in things like fights and healing.

For example, if there were seals on a person's hands, that could make emanating healing chakra easier. If there was a seal on a person's arm holding a sword, and they reached their arm around an enemy and then activated a release of the seal, the sword would be released and go right through the enemy. If the person wished to hide something, like in the second test of the Chuunin Exam, they could put that thing inside a seal on their arm rigged to release only to their specific chakra signature.

He also taught me about seal traps - how to use seal tags to entrap opponents within the "other" world of the seals, and also how to rig seals to explode, as I had done in the second test.

There was a lot to learn, but it was fascinating work. Honestly, the hardest part was the precision - like with calligraphy, everything about a seal had to be written exactly right in order for the seal to work.

"Someday," said Jiraiya, "if I'm not around, you could teach this to Naruto. Okay?"

I was so distracted, nodding slowly as I looked over the latest seal set, that I didn't even think about how morbid that really was.

* * *

I went to sit beside Naruto, who was mixing Rasengan chakra in his hand, his face twisted with effort and concentration. It was evening, and we were on a back porch on the bottom floor of our hotel, looking out over a garden.

"Jiraiya said we should reach the town Tsunade seems to be staying at by tomorrow," I said quietly. "It's called Tanzaku."

Naruto looked up in surprise, the chakra in his hand fading away. "So then we'll be able to save Sasuke and Lee," said Naruto, brightening.

"Maybe..." I was frowning, looking out over the garden, worrying away at my bottom lip. "Naruto - what if we can't convince her to come back? Or what if she's like Orochimaru and is a terrible person, only interested in what we can offer her?"

Naruto frowned. "We can't think like that," he said firmly. "We'll just have to find a way to convince her. Think about Sasuke."

I nodded. "... Naruto," I said, "you guys rag on each other a lot, but you really care about Sasuke, don't you?" I looked over at him.

Naruto looked down, picking at a sleeve. "Well, I mean," he mumbled, "we've always been picking on each other. For a long time, I thought I hated him. But I guess... without meaning to... we sort of became friends somewhere along the way. I mean - he put himself on the line for me, you know? Like with that time during the Wave mission. I just... I've gotta save him. Even if just because I have to repay him. You see what I mean?"

I nodded. "I didn't want to get involved in his fight with his brother," I admitted. "Sort of like the Jonin sensei didn't. It was _his_ fight. But just like with the way we'll help you with the Akatsuki, we can help Sasuke with Itachi."

"Right." Naruto nodded, smiling determinedly, and his willpower filled me with a confidence I hadn't formerly had. "We just have to get him back first."

And that meant getting _her_ back first.

* * *

We made Tanzaku the next day. It was a big gambling town and tourist resort, full of old castles complete with official tours. It had lots of big neon signs and smiling tourist resort helpers and it was absolutely crowded with people in bright palm tree shirts. "Jiraiya," I asked at one point, "how can Tsunade just afford to wander like this, gambling away money and going wherever she pleases?"

"Well, sometimes she just borrows money and then does a transformation spell to avoid having to pay."

"How noble," I observed flatly.

"But mainly, she lives off the Senjuu clan inheritance," Jiraiya added. "She's the last surviving direct heir of the First Hokage."

"Eh?" Naruto asked eloquently.

I filled him in from what I remembered of Academy readings. "The Senjuu and the Uchiha were the two founding clans of Konoha. The race for First Hokage came down to a fight between two opponents: Senjuu Hashirama and Uchiha Madara. Senjuu Hashirama won and Uchiha Madara left the village. Ever since, the Senjuu have been considered the closest thing Konoha has to royalty."

Jiraiya nodded. "That's why people call her what they do," he said. "Tsunade-hime." _Hime -_ princess.

We quickly found out that no one here would offer us any information unless we paid. So, in the process, we found out that Naruto had the most bizarre luck with gambling. We would go to casinos and the workers there would only give us information if we tried our hand at the slots. Naruto won - _every. Single. Time._

"How are you doing this?" Jiraiya asked at last disbelievingly, beaming.

"I don't know," said Naruto, shrugging philosophically. "Don't look at me, I'm just pulling levers and making guesses."

I held back from saying what I was thinking, which is that perhaps Naruto used up all of his bad luck at the very beginning of his life.

We eventually found out that Tsunade had _just_ left Tanzaku. She and her female attendant, Shizune, along with their pet pig, Tonton, had packed up and were heading to the next town over. So, cursing, we made it out of Tanzaku and went down the road to the next town, a tiny place between two major cities. We arrived there in the early evening.

"We should split up," I said at last, as we paused just inside the main road through the town. I turned to Jiraiya and Naruto. "We're not covering enough ground together. We keep just missing her."

Jiraiya nodded thoughtfully. "Good idea. Plus, she's less likely to run if you two get to her first. She doesn't know you. So, Naruto goes left, Sakura goes right, I'll go center. She's a curvy blonde lady in a green cloak with a gambling symbol on the back. She looks a lot younger than me, even though she isn't. Her nails are usually painted red, and she always wears makeup. Her attendant Shizune dresses plainer and has short dark hair. They'll have the pig with them, on a little leash."

They sounded pretty distinctive. And so we set off. I walked down my assigned road, keeping an eye out for parlors and casinos of all sorts. Every time I saw a casino, I would pause in the shadows of its building and then transform into a visage of a grown woman. Trying to hold myself confidently instead of awkwardly, I would walk inside, take a look around, play a couple slots with some spare money I had just so I wouldn't seem out of place, and then leave.

It was on my third trip through one such gambling place that I spotted them.

There was Tsunade, a stunningly beautiful woman frowning as she played some slots. She seemed to be losing. Her attendant stood obediently beside her, and sure enough, there was the pig. Smiling in triumph, I walked back outside the casino and leaned against the shadowy wall beside the front window. There, doing a carefully concealed one-handed seal, I changed my transformation spell. This time, I looked just like myself, only with less muscle and dressed in a white tank-top and black shorts set. My image had on no ninja equipment and wore no hitai-ate. Tsunade must be suspicious of ninja, or at the very least Konoha ninja, and I didn't want to draw attention to myself.

Then I reached down into my pocket. Jiraiya had left us each with a frog summon, so that we could reach him quickly if we came across Tsunade. I set my own summon down before me. The frog, a tiny little cutie named Gamatatsu, smiled up at me obediently from the ground. "Go get Jiraiya and Naruto," I said softly, and as he jumped away, I leaned against the wall again and went back to watching Tsunade, making sure she didn't leave. She didn't. She seemed pretty determined to win back all her losses, but she just kept losing.

 _An amoral scientist, a drunken womanizer, and a gambling addict. Why did the Third raise such weird students?_ It wasn't something I would ever say out loud, but I was thinking it. The Third seemed like a pretty thoughtful and dignified person. It didn't make sense.

Soon enough, Jiraiya and Naruto leaped down beside me. Naruto raised an eyebrow as he glanced me over. "New look?"

"I didn't want to scare her off," I said.

"Good idea," said Jiraiya, and he sounded surprised in a way that was sort of insulting.

"I can put a genjutsu over the two of you so you seem less... noticeable," I offered, looking over Jiraiya and Naruto, who were the very picture of 'not subtle.'

I did, and we walked into the casino. I'd done my job well; Tsunade and Shizune didn't look up immediately. We walked over to their station, and it was only when we were close enough that she couldn't run that I released my spell and the illusion. "Tsunade," said Jiraiya, unusually serious.

Tsunade gasped and whirled around. Her eyes widened briefly as she recognized her old teammate. "Jiraiya," Tsunade said, and suddenly she became quiet, hard to read, her expression closed up like a door slamming shut.

"Jiraiya-sama," Shizune murmured, in surprise and some amount of awe.

"What are you doing here?" Tsunade asked brusquely.

"We need to go outside and talk," said Jiraiya, and for the first time since I'd met him he carried himself like a Sannin. His eyes narrowed. "Several missing nin have attacked Konoha recently. And one of them is Orochimaru."

* * *

We walked outside to the street and then to a restaurant next door. As soon as we sat down, Tsunade ordered a stiff drink. "I'm going to need it for this conversation," I thought I heard her mutter.

Once our drinks had arrived, Tsunade waved a hand almost lazily. The noise of the outside restaurant faded away, and I had a sneaking suspicion no one would be able to hear us either. It had to be a genjutsu, and I reminded myself to try to figure out how it worked later.

"So," said Tsunade resignedly, "what's going on? And why should I care?"

"Orochimaru allied himself with two foreign villages and tried to use them to destroy Konoha during the most recent Chuunin Exam," said Jiraiya without preamble. Shizune's eyes widened, and even Tsunade's eyebrows rose a little. "But that's not actually why I'm here. A jinchuuriki from Suna was one of those attacking Konoha, and he crippled a young Genin, taking out one of his legs. None of our current medics can treat the problem. Shortly afterward, two missing nin actively looking for demonic magic - one of them Uchiha Itachi - attacked Konoha to try to steal our jinchuuriki away from us. They failed, but during the battle Uchiha Itachi put his little brother under the power of the Sharingan's Tsukuyomi illusion, causing Sasuke deep mental scars and leaving him unable to wake up from a deep coma.

"A trend has begun, Tsunade," said Jiraiya. "The peace is over. War could break out at any time. We're not asking much of you. Sensei understands your feelings. But we need you to come back and heal soldiers. Konoha needs its best medic back."

Tsunade closed her eyes smoothly. "No," was her simple, and curt, response.

"Tsunade-sama," Shizune began uneasily, pained. Shizune clearly wanted them to go back.

Tsunade's eyes opened, anger flaring within them. " _No!_ Jiraiya - I've retired from healing. You know that. That incident left me unable to continue the work." Tsunade laughed harshly, ironically. "How much use would I be, a medic who's afraid of blood?"

A pronounced frown had grown over Jiraiya's face.

Suddenly, Naruto spoke up. "You have to come back! It's our friends who are hurt!"

"If you don't come back, Tsunade-sama," I agreed worriedly, "Lee will never be a ninja again and Sasuke may spend the rest of his life in a coma. You're the only one who can help them."

Tsunade raised an eyebrow. "You brought two Genin along?" she asked rudely, skeptically, looking us over.

"I... am wearing a vest," I said, my eye twitching just a little.

Tsunade smirked and the blood rushed to my face for more than one reason. "Oh, sorry," she said. "One loud Genin and a very puny Chuunin."

"Hey!" Naruto said indignantly.

"Not exactly helping your case there, kid," said Jiraiya dryly, as he'd said to me. "Tsunade-hime," Jiraiya added, "the loud Genin is Uzumaki Naruto, jinchuuriki extraordinaire. And the very puny Chuunin helped save Konoha from getting flattened during the invasion."

Tsunade actually looked interested for a moment. Then her face closed up again and she looked away, feigning disinterest. "Well," she said, "the answer is still no."

"Please!" said Naruto, leaning forward, his face angry and intent.

"The answer is no, gaki," said Tsunade, _gaki_ meaning _little brat._ "What are you? An idiot who cannot hear people when they speak?" Her tone was mocking.

"I'm the idiot who's going to be Hokage one day!" said Naruto, his fists clenched and his face angry, determined.

Tsunade looked horrified.

"Why would you want to do something stupid like that?" she blurted out. Naruto shouted out in anger, nearly vaulting himself over the table, but Tsunade's question seemed sincere. "Who the hell would want to be Hokage? All they ever do is die! There are a million better things you could be doing with your time!" Tsunade was almost arguing now.

"The Hokage don't just die for no reason," said Naruto furiously. "They die for their _people._ Their deaths have _meaning."_ He pounded the table for emphasis.

"He's right, Tsunade-hime," said Jiraiya. His eyes were locked intently on his old teammate. "And you should know that, being as closely connected with three of the Hokage as you were."

Tsunade looked away.

"Well," she said scornfully after a moment, "even if Sarutobi-sensei _were_ to pick a successor, I'm sure it wouldn't be this kid."

"What did you say?!" Naruto looked like he really wanted to hit the Sannin sitting across the table from him.

"What?" Tsunade smirked. "I bet you can't do a single impressive technique. Look at you."

"I'll take that bet," said Naruto, pointing a finger in her face. "And if I prove you wrong, so help me God you're going to return to Konoha and heal my friends. Got it?" The words were calm, threatening.

"Fine," said Tsunade, ever the gambler. "But keep in mind, kid, I'm a _Sannin._ What could _you_ possibly have in your repertoire that could impress _me_?"

* * *

" _Rasengan!"_

We were standing in a copse of trees on the outskirts of the town. There wasn't just one Naruto shouting the name of the technique, there were three - two of them Kage Bunshin. They each shoved the technique into a tree trunk with a bright burst of chakra, taking a major chunk of each tree out. There was a rumble of noise, and I saw lights go on in the farm house across the way.

We were probably on someone's property. Oops.

"Okay, guys," I said, smiling nervously and clapping my hands, "we should probably go..."

No one paid me any attention. Tsunade was busy standing, gaping at the three ruined trees. Twitching slightly. As usual, she had just lost, and as usual, Naruto had just won. And everyone knew it. We waited with held breath for the blowout... and it came.

" _Goddamnit!"_ Tsunade punched the ground - and in a feat of perfect chakra control known only to a medic, a great crater was made in the earth, the ground rumbling again. "I can't go back to that _goddamn village!"_ Tsunade charged at a startled Naruto. Shizune went to restrain her master - "Tsunade-sama, please!" she said in a shocked tone - and Jiraiya went to guard his new pupil. Ignored by everyone, I made a hand seal.

Naruto abruptly blinked out of existence, becoming invisible.

Everyone paused - and turned around to me. In the lull, a farmer was running out toward us, disbelieving and furious. I crossed my arms, regretting ever having anything to do with the Sannin. "Stop throwing a temper tantrum," I said in a tiny, stubborn voice. "And don't hurt my teammate."

Tsunade's face reacted in fury. Silent and dangerous, she punched the earth again - and behind her, someone cried out in pain. Everyone whirled around.

The farmer was lying prone on the ground, a piece of rock wedged into his sternum. He was bleeding heavily, dying. A piece of debris had flown off from Tsunade's hit and pierced right through him.

The minute Tsunade saw what had happened, she went very, very quiet. I thought perhaps she was regretting what she had done, but then I saw her back up. One step. And then another. She was trembling, staring in horror at the blood, her face pale. She sat down, curled up on the ground, and began holding herself, trembling.

"Tsunade-sama's afraid of blood," said Shizune worriedly, and then she went over to the farmer to begin healing him herself.

I stopped her. "Why are _you_ healing him?" I asked, bewildered. " _She_ hurt him." I pointed at the rather pathetic-looking Sannin.

"Tsunade-sama has retired from healing," said Shizune softly, looking down. "She cannot handle the sight of blood anymore."

And all of a sudden, I was angry. I stomped right over to Tsunade. " _Get up,"_ I snapped furiously, looming over her. She trembled, looking up at me with big, vulnerable eyes. I grabbed her by the arm and yanked her to her feet; she stumbled a little unsteadily. "You hurt that man!" I said, pointing. "It's your fault if he dies! And you're just going to _sit there_ and do _nothing?"_

"Sakura -" Jiraiya began.

"No! No excuses!" I whirled around to him, my face twisted and my eyes gleaming. I turned back to Tsunade. "You're a Sannin and today you're going to fucking act like one! You're going to overcome your fear of blood by overstimulus! It's a thing that happens in psychology; I've read about it!"

I grabbed Tsunade by the arm and started pulling. She struggled with me, so I put some chakra into the muscle and yanked her forward anyway, pushing her down in front of the man. She looked down at all the blood in horror, shaking.

I grabbed Tsunade's hands and put them over the man's body. "You're going to heal this man because you're the one who hurt him!" I snapped. "Now pull out some healing chakra!"

Tsunade just sat there with her hands out, shaking, her eyes unfocused.

I sighed, and tried a softer note. I put my hands on top of hers, and sparked off a little chakra into her hands like electricity. Green healing chakra flickered into life from her hands. "Close your eyes for a minute, okay?" I said, and when she did, I reached down and I pulled the piece of debris out of the man's sternum. He cried out and there was blood on my hands. I wiped them off in the grass and then put my hands back over Tsunade's.

"Let's approach this logically," I said quietly. "You would have to heal from the inside out, right?"

"Right," said Tsunade, speaking for the first time. Her eyes were still closed. She opened them, and I felt a moment of hope - but then she saw the mess of the man's insides. She gasped and the healing chakra flickered out.

"Sakura-san," said Shizune, pained, "it's a nice try, but -" I held up a hand.

I put my hands back on top of Tsunade's. "You can do this," I said quietly. "Think of it as a torn piece of cloth. Picture the torn piece of cloth." I paused. "Now, you're the one who has to sew it all back together."

"But... but the blood..." Tsunade was shaking, staring blankly in horror.

She was talking to me, I told myself. That was a good sign. "If you sew him up, all the blood will go away," I said calmly. "You're making the blood go away. You just have to heal him back up."

I sparked her hands again, and the healing chakra flickered into life. "Now," I said with false calm, "I'm right here with you. Do you see?"

"What if I... what if I can't do it?" Tsunade's voice was shaking. Not for the first time, I felt like the adult instead of the child.

"You can't think like that," I said. "You have to think like you're the great Senjuu Tsunade! Of course you can!"

I kept feeding a steady trickle of warming chakra into her hands from my palms, and slowly, swallowing, the green chakra holding steady, she began healing the man's insides. It was incredible to watch. The wounds were brought together, brought together, and then they all just melted away. The man's unconscious face relaxed, the lines of pain leaving it.

"You're doing great," I dared to murmur once, and Tsunade nodded, her face becoming more natural, more concentrated. The green healing chakra strengthened as, slowly, the blood did indeed go away, as did the insides, the broken tissue.

And then, slowly, Tsunade began to talk.

" _I raised my little brother Nawaki. Our parents died when we were young, and I was so much older than him that I became his guardian. Later, I fell in love with a man named Dan, a fellow ninja who supported my early efforts to revolutionize medicine and healing chakra, back when almost no one else did. Nawaki and Dan were dissimilar in a lot of respects - Nawaki was fiery and impatient, while Dan was calm and idealistic. But they both wanted to be Hokage. And they both died in the last war._

" _Nawaki died first. I thought, I can change this. I can make sure it doesn't happen again. That was what drove me to want to become a medic nin, to revolutionize medicine and ensure that there were healers on each Konoha team. I made Konoha a bastion of medicine and healing chakra, with no other peer in the elemental countries. While my teammates became masters of killing people, I wanted to become a master of saving them._

" _But I couldn't save Dan. We were on the same team during a raid. He died bloodily, on the battlefield, even as I tried to save him. That was when... I couldn't look at blood anymore without thinking of how I failed to save him. That was when I gave up being a medic nin and left the village, which had taken both of the people I loved most from me._

" _Don't you see? I can't go back."_

Tsunade's voice was small by the time she was finished. The man was healed, and the healing chakra flickered out of life from her hands, possibly for the last time. Tsunade put her hands down into her lap, looking away sadly, almost in shame. I put my hands back and thought about it for a moment.

Shizune looked between us pleadingly. _Help her,_ I saw Shizune mouth. Perhaps she thought I was some kind of miracle worker with words, but that was Naruto, really. Not me.

Still, I decided to give it a try.

Exchanging glances with Naruto, I said, "It's not just Konoha, you know. The entire world's like that. People die every day. People will die whether you're around to help them or not, Tsunade. But with you around, less people will die. You can be one of the people who makes a difference. Just because one person died... That doesn't mean you've lost the power to save others."

"We're trying to keep people like Nawaki healthy right now," said Naruto, catching on. "And that's why I want to be Hokage. So I can protect people. So I can save them." That iron determination had filled him. "We're all just trying to save people. Like you. And we can't just give up. People will keep dying if we give up. And that's not an option."

Tsunade looked up, and glanced between us: from my face, to Naruto's, and back.

"You remind me so much of how we used to be," she whispered at last.

Jiraiya smirked. "Kind of uncanny, isn't it?"

"You're both fools," said Tsunade to us, and her tone was hard. But then she smiled. "But it wouldn't be the first time I've followed a fool," she added. "... Alright. I'll come back."

Shizune beamed, brightening. "Really?"

"HA! YES!" Naruto jumped up into the air.

"No. I was just kidding."

Naruto stopped, staring in horror. Tsunade started laughing, her face lit up. She laughed and laughed until she was gasping for air. "God, I'm crazy," she said. "I'm really going to do this. I'm hopeless!"

* * *

Later, Tsunade would grumble to Jiraiya, "I can't believe you were shameless enough to bring two earnest kids along."

Jiraiya shrugged, self satisfied. "It was a great idea, right? I didn't have to do anything."

And so we brought Tsunade back to Konoha with us.


	3. Chapter 3

3.

One Sannin on a trip was barely manageable. Two Sannin on a trip edged this close to a disaster.

We stopped at every tourist spot along the way. Every shop, every sightseeing area, everything. When Naruto and I complained and said we were supposed to be getting back so we could heal our friends, we were told we needed to "lighten up." To this end, supposedly, we stopped once at a hot springs resort. The onsen had mixed bathing, and this was the only reason why Jiraiya agreed to stay.

"This'll be great," said Tsunade cheerily. "A perfect afternoon."

"A perfect afternoon worrying about Sasuke and Lee," I muttered.

"You worry too much. It disturbs me," said Tsunade airily, waving a hand. "We are definitely stopping."

* * *

Tsunade went off to gamble away money she didn't have, and as usual Shizune followed obediently behind her everywhere she went, seemingly making little effort to curb her mistress's impulses. Meanwhile, Jiraiya, Naruto, and I got undressed, wrapped ourselves in towels, and went outside to the onsen.

From the first, I was self conscious. The only other people in the bath with me were Jiraiya and Naruto, and I couldn't decide if this made things better or worse. Luckily, when I walked out, Jiraiya's eyes weren't even on me. He sat back and stared determinedly up at the sky. "I," he declared, "am going to sit here and wait for some hot chick to show up."

Naruto looked over at me as I got in beside him. He smirked, blushed, and looked away again.

I waited.

"Not gonna say anything," he said after a moment, attempting a straight face, humor and glee hidden within his tone.

I sighed. "Thanks, Naruto," I said, and I wasn't even sure if I meant it sarcastically. "Relax, there's not much to see anyway." It was depressing, but also true.

Naruto stared at me. "Yeah," he said with forceful sarcasm after a moment. "That was what I was thinking about, Sakura. YOUR BREAST SIZ -!"

I slapped a hand over his mouth and glared at him furiously, red faced. "Stop. Shouting."

Naruto shrugged and batted his eyes at me innocently. I grinned after a moment despite myself and pushed his face away. He splashed water at me and I splashed water back. We were both trying to glare at each other and not laugh at the same time.

"You know," Jiraiya sighed, reminding us of his presence, "if this were between two teenage girls, it would be hot. As it is, you two are just annoying. Quiet down, will ya?"

"Party pooper," said Naruto.

"I thought we were supposed to be relaxing," I added.

Jiraiya rolled his eyes and leaned back, staring up at the clouds passing by again.

It was actually very relaxing, being in the onsen. The warm water relaxed the muscles and the steam made the head pleasantly fuzzy. I sat back, like Jiraiya, and watched the world turn.

Eventually, when "warm" started to feel like "hot", I sat up and turned to Naruto, who had been unusually quiet. "Ready to go back?" I asked. He nodded and we got up to leave together.

"Coming, Jiraiya?" Naruto asked.

"Nah. I'm gonna sit here and wait for a babe." We left him to it.

* * *

When we got back to our room, I stopped in the doorway and gasped. The place was a mess. The bed sheets had been ripped apart, our suitcases' contents were strewn across the floor, and the window stood slightly open.

"Someone's been in here," said Naruto seriously.

We began searching through what was left of our items, and quickly realized all our valuables had been stolen.

"My money's gone," said Naruto.

"So are all the things I bought for people back home. A new pair of earrings and a scarf of mine are missing, too," I replied, standing up, frowning in worry. "Who would do something like this? We're at a resort full of rich people."

"Ha, says you," said Naruto. "The richer people are, the more they want money. It makes perfect sense. Hey, check this out. They left a note."

I hurried over to read what it said.

We are the Akagi family. We want our money back. We will trade your items for the money. Meet us at 3 o'clock at the three cedars behind the mountain.

"Back..." I echoed. "They must be after Tsunade. Some people she lent money to must be after her."

"You think so?" Naruto asked. "They must have mistaken our room for hers. Well, then this is her damn problem. Let's go get her."

* * *

Tsunade was supremely annoyed as she stormed toward the three cedars, Shizune hurrying frantically behind her.

"Tsunade-sama! Tsunade-sama!"

"Assholes don't know what they're talking about," Tsunade snapped. "I'll make them pay for interrupting me enjoying myself."

"You... did run away without paying them," I reminded her. Naruto and I had come along to get our stuff back.

"You don't know what you're talking about either, so shut up," Tsunade added.

I scowled, but fell quiet.

There were two samurai-looking men, standing and waiting before the three cedars with a cloth bag that must have our items in it. They straightened when they saw us coming. "Tsunade-sama -!" one began, in a brave voice, because he was clearly terrified. "We have come to -!"

Tsunade moved so fast, it was as if she had disappeared and then reappeared right in front of them. She hit three points on each of their bodies with flashes of chakra before they could even move to guard and they went down, flopping on the ground pathetically.

"Knowing your anatomy pays off," she added, shrugging, at our surprised stares. "I just attacked their nervous system with bursts of chakra."

"I thought you were going to put chakra in your fist and make a crater in the ground again," Naruto added, almost pouting in disappointment.

Tsunade seemed amused. "I save that for the ninja," she said. Then she reached down, grabbed the bag, and threw it to us. "There you go. These guys are so pathetic, you could probably just have gotten it yourselves."

"We are not pathetic, we are honorable samurai -!" one spoke up from his place on the ground.

Tsunade scowled and kicked him in the stomach and he wheezed. "You couldn't even find the right room!" she snapped. "You stole a bunch of stuff from a couple of innocent kids!"

"I'm not a kid -" I began.

"I think I already told you to shut up," Tsunade said, pointing. Still annoyed, I fell silent.

The other samurai swallowed, looking ashamed. "Please," he said. "We didn't like having to resort to that. But - let me explain."

"No," said Tsunade flatly.

The samurai began anyway, and despite myself, I listened. "We are Senta and Bunzou from the Akagi clan. We are not allowed to return to our families until we have gotten this money back from you. We knew we couldn't get the money back from you through violence, and you're also infamous as someone who's stubborn, not to be reasoned with. We had no choice but to try what we did. If you could just give us back the money you owe our family, we will leave."

Naruto immediately empathized - it was one of his greatest strengths and weaknesses. "If they can't return to their home - Tsunade, couldn't you just give the money back to them?"

"No," repeated Tsunade simply. Shizune winced, not liking this but looking downward.

"But what about your honor as a ninja, and as a doctor?" I added.

Tsunade gave a harsh, dry laugh. "Ninja have no honor," she said.

I had my hands behind my back, and with them I weaved a genjutsu. I made an arrow appear to Naruto, and only to Naruto. It pointed back toward the inn, where I knew the money was being kept. Create a Kage Bunshin silently and make it appear behind that tree over there, said words below the arrow.

Naruto quietly put his hands behind his back, and after a moment, he shifted and let them hang loose in front of him again. I let one genjutsu go and reached out in another. I wrapped an invisibility illusion around the Naruto clone I could feel behind the tree, and I sensed it when the clone began running silently off toward the inn. Once it had gone over the hill, I let the genjutsu go.

Shizune had finished trying to reason with Tsunade, which had afforded us the pause we needed. She turned back to me and shrugged helplessly. Shizune seemed like a good person, if a little weak willed and not very good at persuading.

I sighed. "Alright," I grumbled, pretending to concede defeat. "Fine. Let's leave them there and go."

"They'll be okay, right?" Naruto added.

"The numbness should wear off in a few minutes," confirmed Tsunade. Perfect for our plan, then. Tsunade gave one last warning to Senta and Bunzou not to come back, and then we left to go back to the inn.

Shizune and Tsunade, and Naruto and I, parted ways inside the inn. Naruto and I went to our room and Tsunade and Shizune went to theirs. We waited... I winced as an all holy shriek issued from the room down the hall.

"Where did our savings briefcase go?!"

"Come on, we'd better go pretend to be worried," I told Naruto, and we ran down the hall to find Tsunade and Shizune rooting through their room, trying to find the briefcase.

"Hey, is everything okay?" I faked surprise.

"Yeah, you didn't lose any of that girly shit, did you?" Naruto asked in dread, which sounded just like something he would say.

"Our savings briefcase is gone!" Shizune wailed. Tsunade was still tearing the room apart, looking furious.

"If it was those Akagi assholes -!" Tsunade was saying.

Meanwhile, I saw Naruto suddenly give me a secret thumbs up behind his back. The Kage Bunshin had just dispersed and sent memories back to the original. Senta and Bunzou had gotten the savings briefcase and were well on their way.

But Tsunade saw us signal each other. The room went very quiet. She stood slowly, her eyes dangerous, and I swallowed. She walked over and loomed up before us. Then, suddenly, she punched the wall beside us so that it crunched awfully.

"Where did you put the briefcase?!"

We said nothing, stubbornly staring ahead of ourselves.

"You little brats had better apologize! Where is the briefcase?!"

Nothing.

"Where are those Akagi assholes?! Do they have the briefcase?!"

Silence. Inwardly, I have to admit, I was nervous.

Tsunade at last sighed, hands on her hips, glaring down at us. "How did you do it?" she asked then.

Naruto and I shared glances. "It was a combination of my Kage Bunshin," said Naruto.

"And my genjutsu," I added.

Tsunade was at last surprised. "You snuck a genjutsu past me?" She sounded almost impressed. "I mean, I wasn't looking for it and it didn't directly affect me. But still..."

I looked ahead of myself quietly. Tsunade's eyes were assessing.

Then she admitted: "The reason I didn't want to pay the samurai is that I already paid my debt to the Akagi a year ago." She smirked, amused, at our horrified expressions. "You shouldn't believe everything you hear from people. They probably just wanted to swindle money. But there was nothing in the briefcase anyway," Tsunade added dryly. "I'm not good enough with money to have savings. And they just conveniently got rid of any evidence of my other IOUs, which is useful in my return to the village."

"That's why I was shrieking," quiet Shizune admitted, shamefaced. "I can't bear the thought of anyone finding out about all that money we owed people..."

That was the day I started to have a little faith in Tsunade.

* * *

We were approaching close to Konoha now, Tsunade in tow. But while we were stopped for lunch beside a wide, grassy field, Jiraiya and Tsunade came over to me. "Stand up, kid," said Jiraiya.

I stood up slowly, looking suspiciously from one to the other. "What?" I asked.

"Don't 'what' me," said Jiraiya. "I'm trying to help you. Apparently, you've impressed Tsunade-hime, and -"

"I want to see your genjutsu," said Tsunade intently. Her arms were crossed and she was watching me unerringly.

I wasn't sure what was going on, but when a Sannin said she was impressed and wanted to see your skills, you didn't exactly turn her down. So I took a deep breath, stood in the center of the field in a silent hand seal, and began changing the landscape around us, bending it to my will. I hit all five of their senses, changing sights and sounds and smells and feelings, in pleasant ways instead of bad ones. I showed them layered illusions and then, when Naruto offered, I showed them that I could give someone the illusion they were bound by binding him and making him fall over. I finished by blending, chameleon-like, into the scenery behind me - the grass, the trees, and the cloudy blue sky.

When I was finished, Shizune began clapping. "That takes exceptional chakra control," Tsunade said at last, thoughtfully.

"Sakura-chan's chakra control has always been good," said Naruto. "She got tree walking and water walking down in a period of two days."

Tsunade's eyebrows rose. "How's her chakra strength?"

"It wasn't good at first, but I've been working hard on it," I said.

Tsunade nodded sharply. "Good! It's decided, then." She turned away.

I blinked in surprise. "Uh... what's decided?"

Tsunade looked back over her shoulder and smiled. "Isn't it obvious?" she said. "Naruto is Jiraiya's disciple. I'm making you mine. I'll teach you healing.

"It makes sense," she added at my stare. "Healing takes exceptional chakra control and can be very rewarding to those who are not morally bankrupt. It would be perfect for you. I first came up with the idea when you helped me through my blood phobia." Tsunade's face softened, grew more serious. "You were proactive, tough, but gentle.

"You showed a very good bedside manner."

* * *

The minute we entered past the guards through the gates of Konoha, we were escorted by ANBU to the Hokage's office. "Hokage-sama has been waiting for you, Tsunade-sama," said one of the ANBU, as we made our way through the village to the Hokage's private office space.

"Great," said Tsunade sarcastically, her expression hard. She was rather quiet as she looked around herself at her old home.

"I've never been to Hokage-sama's personal office before," I said wonderingly.

"I have. I get in trouble with him all the time. Don't worry, I'll give you the grand tour."

"Naruto, it's one room. What's there to give a tour of?"

"You're right, kid," said Tsunade. "It's nothing special."

We entered past the grand council chamber and up a flight of steps, along a hallway, to a set of wood double doors engraved in gold. We entered to find the Hokage sitting behind a long, sweeping oak desk.

"Well, you haven't changed, Sarutobi-sensei," said Tsunade. "Besides getting older, anyway."

"I did miss your fascinating sense of humor, Tsunade." The Hokage seemed calm, cheerful. He must really like her; I couldn't imagine the reaction being the same if I'd said that to him.

"I didn't want to come back," said Tsunade.

"And yet you came," the Hokage noted.

"It was all my bright idea." Jiraiya grinned. "Tsunade and I have new disciples."

"Do you now?" The Hokage looked over at Naruto and me, raising an eyebrow. Naruto grinned. At the worst possible moment, I blushed and looked at my feet.

"Chin up, Sakura," said the Hokage, surprising me. "Remember what I told you the first time we met."

I looked up in hopeful surprise, growing a little inside at the idea that he remembered my name. Tsunade was looking between us thoughtfully.

"You know I would have come back," Tsunade said at last, "if you'd really needed me."

"Yes, you both came back. I suppose we should be glad the other didn't," the Hokage sighed. He and his two students shared a moment of quiet. Then the Hokage turned and gave Shizune a false smile. "Shizune. Always a pleasure. If you could just escort these two out. A B-class solo mission will be added to each of their resumes." He waved at Naruto and I without looking. Shizune bowed silently.

That was our cue that we were dismissed.

* * *

Tsunade immediately started doing rounds at Konoha Hospital, and Jiraiya began sticking to more village-central missions.

Tsunade did heal both Sasuke and Lee. The actual healing of both people was fairly fast. Tsunade had healed victims of the Sharingan's Tsukuyomi illusion before, and since Lee's injury only extended to his leg (and hadn't, say, reached his abdomen or spinal column) she was able to heal that fairly simply, too. Lee was in a very low-risk surgery for one afternoon, and had a couple of days bed rest before being sent to physical therapy.

It was thought that with time they'd both be good as new.

But the boys waking up and becoming more their normal selves was... hard.

Naruto and I were both there smiling over Sasuke when his eyes first fluttered open in his hospital bed. He stared at us, uncomprehending and exhausted, for a moment. Then he said, "... I lost, didn't I?" And he just sounded so... defeated.

"... Yeah," Naruto admitted, wincing. "But now you'll have something to work toward! You'll just have to keep training!" This did not seem to make Sasuke feel much better. Anger and frustration passed briefly over his face, to be replaced by something duller and flatter again.

"Sasuke, you're only twelve years old," I said worriedly. "You're going to have to take it one step at a time. Focus on at least making Jonin before you go off to fight Uchiha Itachi. Maybe become an ANBU hunter nin or something. If you'd been able to defeat him right now, it would have been absurd." Daringly, my heart leaping at the contact, I put my hand over his.

Sasuke stared at the ceiling for a moment. "... He kept showing me the murder of my parents," he said at last.

The room was dead silent. Neither of us knew what to say. Sasuke stared up at the ceiling as if lost in memories neither Naruto nor I could possibly fathom.

* * *

I was walking out of the hospital after visiting Sasuke, and I was passing by Lee's room when I heard a call from within. "Sakura!" The tone was eager, but hesitant.

I backed up in surprise. There was Lee, sitting up, and smiling for the first time about his new prognosis. There was a pregnant pause, and then we both looked away awkwardly.

I supposed I should at least congratulate him. "I heard you'll be a ninja again," I said. "I'm so glad."

"And you - you saved the village. You're a Chuunin."

I nodded, still looking away. "Tsunade's taking me under her wing," I admitted softly at last. "So people might start seeing me around the hospital more often."

"That's - that's great!" said Lee quickly. I finally looked up. He was looking at me, smiling, in that same way he had when we'd first met. "Sakura," he said intently, "I hate that I've hurt you. I deserve a thousand painful deaths for such a thing! I don't know if I can make it up to you... but with how supportive you've been... I'd like it if we could... you know..." He turned red and looked away, embarrassed at the last moment.

A part of me wanted to say yes, the part of me that was afraid of being alone and didn't think Sasuke would ever like her. But honestly? I hadn't thought of Lee much in a non-friends way since... well, since the invasion. And there was something else...

"If you're only going to push me away every time you get hurt," I said, "then -" I took a deep breath. "Then I don't want that. You'll have to earn back my trust. But I'm glad you're okay, Lee. I really am."

I left Lee looking hurt and continued walking down the hall past him.

* * *

I came back to find that Gaara had responded to my strange letter. The reply was terse and to the point.

 _Sakura -_

 _Write me back when you can to let me know you're alive. If you haven't responded when a month has passed, I'm coming to Konoha._

 _Gaara_

My eyes widened in alarm. Whoa, I didn't need him to do that! I smiled despite myself and scribbled back a hurried reply.

 _Gaara -_

 _Yes, I got back from my mission fine. Don't take drastic action. I'm glad you seem to be okay, too. Write me back._

 _I'm sorry to have worried you,_ I added in bemusement. Because I couldn't imagine the Sabaku no Gaara I remembered being worried over anyone at all.

"Thank goodness that bird's leaving," said my mother exasperatedly in passing. "It's been shitting all over your room ever since you left. The cat hates it."

* * *

I began my training with Tsunade.

Some of it, I could figure out on my own. Her genjutsu for muting a conversation from its surroundings, for example, was fairly easy to puzzle out for myself.

But I also began a lot of other things under Tsunade and Shizune's tutelage - things that took years to fully master.

I signed the slug summoning contract - slugs were good for healing, could spit acid, and were also hard to destroy because they could simply turn themselves into hundreds of smaller slugs - but unlike Naruto, I wouldn't be meeting my boss for a very long time. I didn't have enough chakra to summon any other creatures except tiny slugs. I was afraid the slugs would be as volatile as Gamabunta seemed to be, but on the contrary, they - at least the smaller ones - were quiet, firm, and fair.

Tsunade was, of course, also an expert healer. Healing chakra was green, emanated from the hands, and required exceptional chakra control to be able to summon. Healing also required perfect knowledge of anatomy and biology, because you had to tell the healing chakra what to do and be able to picture it in your mind - whether it was to make an incision, scan for injuries, or mend a wound - which required enormous memorization and concentration. A lack of squeamishness was also a must. Tsunade told me there was only so much I could learn from academics and training, however, so she also took me on rounds with her around the medical ward. There, I saw some truly disgusting things that I will never forget - but also some truly amazing feats of healing.

Tsunade told me one thing about being a healer that was hard. "If you're the medic on your team," she said, "you have to remove yourself from danger whenever possible. If you die, everyone on your team is dead. If you have to fight, you must do so... self preservationally."

"But - but I want to -!"

Tsunade told me firmly there was no way around it. When I pointed out to her that she fought, she pointed at the diamond tattoo on her forehead and said there was a technique embedded in it, Creation Rebirth. Under Creation Rebirth, a great volume of chakra was released from the forehead. Then the body's cell division was forcibly stimulated by proteins, reconstructing all organs and tissue. The only catch was, each time the person did Creation Rebirth, it shortened their lifespan. "It's a last ditch technique that guarantees immortality," she said.

"If I'm going to be Naruto's leader, I have to know something like that," I said. "I may be a healer, but I'm also the leader of a jinchuuriki and an Uchiha survivor." She looked down into my determined face for a moment, and then said quietly that she would teach the beginnings of Creation Rebirth to me.

"It will take you a long time to get it," she warned. But I worked hard at it anyway.

She also taught me how to sense and read chakra, getting a good indication of a person's emotional state by the state of their chakra flow. On a larger scale, she taught me how to read enemies and attack patterns and plan accordingly. She taught me a weapon that doubled as something for incision called chakra scalpel. She also taught me how to channel enormous chakra into my legs and arms to amplify my taijutsu. She put me through countless uncomfortable conversations with patients in order to further my patience and bedside manner.

Meanwhile, Shizune was in charge of teaching me about senbon, poisons, sedatives, and chakra growing pills. Shizune expanded my knowledge of herbs and plant growth. She also taught me how to do what Tsunade had done, and attack the nervous system with bursts of chakra. It turned out that quiet little Shizune was one mean, sneaky bitch when it came to fighting.

One day, while we were training, Shizune said to me quietly, "You know, I almost envy you."

I looked up in surprise. "But you're such a better medic than I am," I said. "What do you mean?"

"I'm more experienced, but you have more raw talent," said Shizune evenly. "You should know, some of this stuff Tsunade-sama hasn't even shown me. She really likes you."

Tsunade was always so tough on me, I had never noticed any admiration at all. In fact, since coming back to Konoha, I had barely even seen my teammates, let alone my friends.

But it became clear to me just how far I had come when Tsunade announced she was going to teach me seduction.

"I'm an expert seductress, it's renowned around the world." Tsunade was puzzled by my reluctance. "You're my pupil, weren't you expecting this?"

"But Tsunade-shishou, I'm not strong enough to be a seductress! What if I get picked on for my looks?"

"Bullshit. Once you're done training with me, you'll be one of the strongest kunoichi in this whole damn village."

"But I don't think I'd be good at seduction," I argued, almost panicked. That was my real reason. I wasn't pretty or seductive. Couldn't she see that?

"Well, sure, it'll take you a few years to come into your own." Tsunade was confused. "But Sakura, this will be incredibly useful. Two thirds of the ninja forces are men. And the one weakness all men have is women. You would be useful on infiltration missions, all sorts of things."

"I know a great person you could teach seduction to," I said. "Ino! My friend? She's so much prettier and more charming than I am, and she knows mind control techniques! Even Hinata would be a better choice, though I'm not sure if her father would want her to -"

"You're recommending someone else to me?" Tsunade asked disbelievingly.

"Well, yeah! I mean..." I looked down at my feet.

"Sakura - I'm going to give you some good advice that no one else probably ever has. Poor self esteem is not cute." I gasped and looked up. Tsunade was firm. "You're pretty and quick witted. Where I'm taking you, those are the only beginnings you really need. Buck up and stop being so down on yourself already!"

I stared up at her for a moment. "... Yes, Tsunade-shishou," I said, with an air of false calm. And that was the moment I think my romantic fetish with being self hating really ended.

I did try to warn her one last time... "The last time I took female etiquette classes, I wasn't very good at this," I said.

Tsunade smirked. "Then we'll just keep training you until you are," she said.

Shizune smiled and whispered from behind her, "I wasn't very good starting out either." That made me feel better.

And so we began. The first things Tsunade taught me were how to apply makeup and fashion correctly - for example, she taught me to go for my colors, which were Spring, like Tsunade herself, and how to dress so I appeared curvier - and how to do a basic beauty genjutsu. This enhanced the user's appearance, making them seem even more attractive than they were to the people around them. It was a simple thing, hard to notice and with not much chakra involved, that one could use in their everyday life. Magically, when I walked around wearing it, more heads turned in my direction and I became more confident.

Two things Tsunade taught me: "As a ninja, never wear hanging jewelry - it could get grabbed - and never wear perfume - it could get you spotted during a stealth situation. Even that apple blossom shit you wear should be left to shampoo."

But she also taught me other things. She quizzed me on politics, pop culture, everything, so I could make interesting conversation, and then she taught me how to be charming. How to lean forward at the right moment, laugh at other people's jokes, and other such things. She made me walk around with books on my head to emphasize elegance, and she taught me how to move sensually: with swaying hips, revealing little bits of wrist and neck, things like that. She taught me that sake should be applied liberally, and taught me how to hold my liquor, mostly by getting me drunk a lot. I suspected she liked this part. We would giggle late at night in her office and talk about stupid things.

Even the learning how to apply oils and massage wasn't so bad. She made me go through a lot of real life examples, and eventually I stopped blushing and got used to the lack of clothing. It helped to think of it as a medical exercise, a test in anatomical knowledge. Pressure points, for example, were great to know in massages, and knowledge of muscle helped the masseuse know where to push away tension. I quickly learned to stop worrying about hurting people, and over time I got pretty good at this.

But then there was the embarrassing stuff.

Okay, so it was mostly embarrassing because it was me. Tsunade wanted me to learn how to sing, dance, and do traditional feminine things such as flower arrangement, tea ceremony, and calligraphy. I sucked at every single one of the things I just mentioned. But Tsunade just kept pushing me.

"You'll get it eventually," she said. "Don't be so hard on yourself just because there's one thing you didn't get right away."

"Easy for you to say," I dared to grumble, "I bet this was easy for you."

"Keep working!" I could practically hear the whip being cracked. At the same time, I knew that I could leave anytime I wanted to.

I didn't want to. I liked this woman I was becoming.


	4. Chapter 4

4.

Tsunade-shishou met up with me as usual before the hospital one morning. "You're not spending time with me today," she announced.

I was confused. "Why not?" I asked.

"Your Sensei Kakashi wants you to meet up with your teammates before the local movie theater. He has a mission for you, and before you leave he wants you to watch a movie there," said Tsunade.

"Why would watching a movie be important to a mission?"

"You'll see," said Tsunade mysteriously. Then she smiled. "I think you'll like this one," she said. "I helped the Hokage assign it."

* * *

When I walked up to my teammates, Sasuke and Naruto, before the movie theater, their eyes widened. I felt their chakra fluctuate in response to their emotions as they looked me over - it was some sort of high emotion, rather like adrenaline, and based on my new appearance I could guess what it was. They were... attracted to me?

My first reaction was to be embarrassed, but I reminded myself not to act that way. _I am a genjutsu master and the disciple of the great Tsunade, and I am a strong and confident woman._ Shizune had given me the advice to repeat this to myself whenever I got self conscious.

And I could admit that, underneath that, it was kind of... nice to think that Naruto and Sasuke were attracted to me. Naruto, I had already known about. But Sasuke was a nice surprise. My very own crush. Energized and uplifted, I held myself elegantly and smiled in that particular way Shishou had taught me. I raised my shoulder and struck a faux pose, joking. "Hello, boys," I said.

"Wow, Sakura-chan. You look..." Naruto began, gaping.

"Different," Sasuke finally settled on faintly.

My hair was the same, soft and pink, held up in a loose bun that my hitai-ate was tied around like a scrunchy. I'd cut my bangs so they fell around my face - a compromise between my dislike of my forehead and my desire not to hide it. I wore tone pearl drop earrings, which would not get in the way, and pink coral lipstick with creamy foundation, peach blush, and olive eyeliner that subtly brought out the green in my eyes. I wore several different new kunoichi outfits, switching depending on the day, but on this particular day my dress was navy blue. The skirt was A-line to give my hips shape, with a bared stomach to make my waist look smaller; the top was fitted, a scoop neck with a pushup bra underneath to make my chest look bigger.

My weapons holster I'd strapped on noticeably to my thigh. On my palms were drawn seals to enhance chakra power and also encourage healing chakra. The Chuunin vest was on, evidence of ninja prowess, though vainly I'd had it tucked in a little at the bottom to subtly hint more at an hourglass shape. The diamond was on my forehead, evidence of Tsunade's work. I had also weaved a subtle genjutsu around my appearance, not to change how I looked, but to enhance it. The genjutsu targeted the victim's eyes and the pathway into their brain; it blurred the head a little, making any people attracted to women in the area a little weak kneed, a little more attracted than they otherwise would have been. Only when I got very close to someone could they detect the faint scent of apple blossoms.

Dad had complained I attracted enough boys as it was; Mom had been sly and teasing and surprisingly understanding about what she called "girl stuff." Ino, the flirtatious shopaholic, had told me when she'd seen me that I should have done it all along; an amazed Hinata flatly refused to be involved in what she called "my undoing", no matter how much I bothered her about her reserved sweaters. But it was interesting to see Naruto and Sasuke react.

At last, Naruto said in dread, "... Oh my God. She turned you into a clone of her."

I blushed and glared. "Naruto! You're supposed to be supportive! And I look vastly different from Tsunade-shishou, for your information."

"Hey, I calls it the way I sees it." Naruto grinned.

But he didn't know I could read his emotions based on his chakra flow. I knew. What I was doing was very much working on my teammates.

I tried not to smile. "Shall we go in?"

As we were walking into the movie theater, Sasuke said at last unexpectedly, "We missed you, you know."

"Yeah," Naruto agreed. "It just wasn't the same without you around."

It was nice, feeling wanted.

* * *

Making accommodations for Naruto and Sasuke in a movie theater was surprisingly hard. Sasuke insisted we stand with chakra on the ceiling so we could train at the same time we watched the movie, or otherwise he'd have had an aneurysm from all the fun and relaxation or something. That caused all the blood to rush to my head. Then there was the movie itself. Naruto had been following the Warrior Princess Fuun action series for _ages,_ and he'd shown all the older movies to me because he thought I'd like the idea of a fighting princess. Warrior Princess Fuun (played by Fujikaze Yukie) was very much older than Naruto, and very much hot. Every time she did something cool, Naruto would start to fanboy and I had to elbow him in the middle of the theater. This had become our ritual over our time watching movies together. Naruto was a very... _active_ viewer.

After the movie was over (spoiler alert: she saves the day from evil) we went where we were told to meet Kakashi, by a high fence behind the theater. As usual, he was late, so we stood around talking.

"Warrior Princess Fuun is _so cool."_ Naruto was drooling over the movie poster.

"She's also pretty enough to be an underwear model," I said. "But I suppose that has nothing to do with the fact that you like her at all." Sasuke snorted.

"Mock all you want. But _I_ would follow Warrior Princess Fuun into battle," said Naruto. " _Are_ there any warrior princesses?" The question was thoughtful.

"Well, I know there are princesses - the daughters of Daimyo and lords," I said slowly, frowning. "But..." I turned to Sasuke.

"There are no warrior princesses," he confirmed - Sasuke had been raised as a member of a prestigious clan. "The nobility and the warriors are two totally separate echelons of society. Fujikaze Yukie is just an actress with a nice stage name."

"Oh ye of little faith," Naruto sighed.

"Stop trying to sound intelligent," said Sasuke.

" _Stop trying to sound intelligent,"_ Naruto mocked him in a low, grumbly voice.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "I _will_ kill you."

"Neither of you are dying today," I said.

"I would have thought you'd like her, though, Sakura-chan," Naruto added in surprise. "She's just like you!"

"What?" I was caught off guard.

"The similarities are remarkable," said Sasuke thoughtfully. They had to be trying to bullshit me.

"She's pretty -"

"A strong warrior -"

"Determined -"

"Passionate -"

"Kind -"

"Supportive -"

"She always figures out how to save the day -"

"She's also vain -"

"Stubborn -"

"Short tempered -"

"And most of all - she's the leader," they both said at once, nodding definitively. It was probably the only time in their lives they had ever agreed on anything.

"... I'm not sure whether to slap you or hug you right now," I informed them.

"Story of our lives," said Naruto. Sasuke smirked.

Just then, we looked around, hearing the beat of horse hooves. We were just in time to see Fujikaze Yukie - _the_ Fujikaze Yukie - leap over the high fence on a white horse. You know. Like the in the movie.

We gaped as a bunch of men on horses followed after her in a chase.

"... What the fuck?" I said with Sasuke as one. But we didn't have much time to be surprised, because Naruto was already chasing after "Warrior Princess Fuun."

"Oh, great," I sighed. "Come on. We'd better go make sure he doesn't hurt himself."

I chased after Naruto, and reluctantly, Sasuke chased after me.

"Naruto!" I called. "This way!" We took to the rooftops, running above the horse chase through the Konoha streets.

"We have to protect Princess Fuun!" said Naruto.

"Naruto, that's not Princess Fuun, it's the actress Fujikaze Yukie!" I called. "We have to ask those men why they're after her!" Yukie felt agitated, but so did the horsemen.

I leaped down to run alongside the lead horseman, an older, dignified man in glasses. "What's going on?!" I called.

"I'm her personal assistant," the man said helplessly. "We're trying to go to another country to film the next movie, but she keeps running away!"

Great. A diva. Annoyed, I ran up next to my teammates again and told them what was going on.

"Princess Fuun wouldn't run away!" Naruto was scandalized.

Sasuke gritted his teeth. "Naruto. _She's. An actress."_

"Let's head her off at the next street," I said sharply. "Sasuke, you take left. Naruto, you take right. Trap her with ninja wire. I'll take her horse from the front and the men will pin her in from behind."

We leaped over the rooftops, jumping up and around. Sasuke and Naruto, in perfect tandem, threw and wrapped ninja wire around the beautiful actress's surprised frame. She was jerked off her horse as it kept moving forward. I jumped down and weaved a genjutsu to make it look like a wall had suddenly appeared before the horse; it reared and moved away again, pacing around anxiously, but it was no longer running.

I lowered the genjutsu and looked up to find the personal assistant's men had Yukie in their grasp.

I walked right up to the personal assistant and frowned. "It's only fair that we see where you're taking her," I said, hands on my hips. "So we know you can be trusted."

"Oh, great." Yukie rolled her eyes. "Idealists." She reminded me a little of Tsunade-shishou.

"That's fine," said the PA, raising his hands. "Actually..." He looked up in amusement, and I turned around. Kakashi was perched there on the rooftop above us.

"Good job, guys." He smiled. "You found our client."

* * *

We were led into a movie studio, which I had never seen the inside of before. Yukie was silent, scowling, as she was led back into her workplace. There, we met up with the director, the main crew members, and the PA.

"Our job is to protect Fujikaze Yukie while she films her next movie," said Kakashi.

" _Really_?" said Naruto in delight.

"I don't need protection!" added Yukie immediately, furiously.

"I'm sorry, I spoke wrong." Kakashi was unfazed. "We'll be her escorts. We're here to make sure she doesn't succeed in running off again."

"You don't want to make any more movies?!" Naruto didn't seem like he knew what to do with today.

"I don't want to film in Snow Country," Yukie groused. "It's cold, and rebellions against the Daimyo crop up all the time. I could die!"

"You're not. Going. To die." The director sighed, rolling his eyes. "We want to appeal to an international audience. Do something different. It's critical that we go to Snow Country. The rainbow glaciers there exactly mirror Princess Fuun's CGI 'rainbow chakra.' It's perfect!"

"We could literally go anywhere in the world - and you want to go to _Snow Country?"_ Yukie asked. "Have you even heard about all the hot springs in _Iron Country?"_

"Actually, not to put a damper on things, but the rainbow cliffs are rarely seen," said Kakashi. "I've been to Snow Country before."

"See?!" Yukie raised a hand in the direction of an expressionless Kakashi.

"I thought they showed themselves in spring. It's the perfect time of year. All the snow's just melting - we'll be able to ride around on sleds and see the spring peeking out from underneath the snow. Perfect camera opportunity." The director frowned.

"That's a nice theory," said Kakashi. "But spring rarely comes to Snow Country. Most of the time, it's in perpetual winter."

The PA, Sandaiyuu, seemed panicked. "Then we'll film in a beautiful landscape of winter," he argued. "It'll be perfect for Princess Fuun's mortal enemy. He could create a snowstorm!"

"It's too late to change the plan now," the director agreed thoughtfully. "We'll go to Snow Country anyway. Maybe we'll get lucky, and spring will come."

Yukie sighed, and stood up. For some reason, she felt scared. Maybe she'd never left Fire Country before. "Alright," she grumbled, and trounced away.

"Where are you going?" Sandaiyuu asked.

"To pee!" Yukie shouted.

"Have fun!" Naruto called after her. Sasuke put a hand over his mouth and suddenly became very, very quiet. "What?" he added at my stare. "She's kind of an ass, okay? I'm disappointed."

"She's not always like this," said Sandaiyuu apologetically. "It's just all this Snow Country talk."

"Well..." said one of the male lead actors. "I wouldn't necessarily say _that..."_ The other snickered.

Suddenly, I saw Yukie make a break for it and try to run toward the nearest exit. I whipped a senbon out, took aim, and -

The senbon hit Yukie in the leg; she cried out and collapsed.

"Don't worry," I said at everyone's alarm. "She's not really injured. I just hit a pressure point." I shrugged.

"Remind me never to piss you off," muttered the male lead.

* * *

I was of great help in getting Yukie on a ship to the Snow Country. I used knowledge of pressure points and nerves to render her virtually incapable of moving below the neck for a few hours, and then we just got her to the coast on one crewman's sled and then hauled her ass on a ship. She shrieked and demanded things the entire time, and seemed kind of spoiled. To be fair, I would have shrieked too if someone had temporarily paralyzed me and put my ass on a boat.

Eventually, Kakashi-sensei just got tired of her shrieking and said, "Yukie? Look over here." She looked right into his Sharingan and fell into a hypnotic sleep.

Kakashi sighed. "Peace," he said blissfully, sitting back.

"Do _you_ know how to do that?" I asked Sasuke.

Sasuke merely smiled.

The ship was a fascinating place. It carried sails and was very old fashioned, creaking with ancient wood and thick rope. I wandered around bugging the people running the ship, learning about how to do things, and then when shooting began I watched that. There was no denying it - Yukie-san _was_ very talented. She wasn't considered the most talented actress in Fire Country for nothing.

What Naruto hadn't planned on was the amount of behind-the-scenes minutiae it took to make a seemingly raw and spontaneous scene come into play. It was as if in his own mind Yukie had become this magical artist who was just capable of crying for a complete stranger at will. He seemed displeased by all the different takes, by the eye drops for her eyes, by the way they slanted the camera, by the makeup to make her look the way she did - by all the little things he'd never noticed before. I, however, found them fascinating.

I couldn't tell what Kakashi thought, though I noticed his eyes always followed Yukie closely. Sasuke seemed, if anything, bored.

* * *

The first place we landed in Snow Country was an icy and inhospitable mountain. The director insisted on docking and filming there at the bottom. The three of us put on long cloaks and traveled out into the freezing weather alongside the cast and crew, but Kakashi-sensei stayed behind on the ship.

"You're a Chuunin now, Sakura," he said. "You can lead the team through Snow Country without my help. Like with the way you got your team together to get Yukie-san? I'm just here in case you need me."

"You just don't want to go out into the cold," Naruto accused him. Kakashi shrugged, already looking back to one of his books.

I was nervous. We'd learned basic team formations at the Academy, but now I would have to implement what I'd learned of them. "Sensei," I said, making sure, "what is the objective?"

Kakashi looked up curiously. "You are to guard Yukie-san, ensure no one tries to hurt her, and also make sure she doesn't leave the set. Keep on high alert."

So to that end, when we went out onto the ice, we had a couple of minutes to let my team get accustomed to walking and running on the ice. Chakra in the soles of the feet helped one keep their balance on slippery terrain. Then I had the team fan out - Naruto and Sasuke one on each side of the set, with me at the head close to Yukie by the director.

Then, right in the middle of filming, there was a sudden explosion from the mountain behind the main villain. At first, I almost thought it was part of the set, but that seemed awfully real... Then three ninja in strange body armor came leaping out of the explosion toward us!

They could have just snuck in and tried to kill her that way. They were either very stupid or very confident. We couldn't afford to assume the former.

"Naruto! Sasuke!" I called, and we ran up the mountain using chakra to meet them. "Everyone get back!" I yelled over my shoulder to the crewmen. " _Run!"_ I heard sounds of scrambling behind me. I also heard Sandaiyuu telling Yukie to get back to the ship; I chanced a glance back over my shoulder. He was yanking at her, but she wouldn't move, sunk to her knees and paralyzed with fright. I nearly rolled my eyes. _Typical._

"You can't afford to be looking away!" I whirled around and clashed a kunai against the other ninja's. He seemed to be the leader.

"Sasuke, Naruto," I snapped, "take the other two." They did so, but I couldn't afford to concentrate on anyone's fight but my own.

I leaped backward and my opponent did too; we watched each other hawkishly. "Who are you after?" I asked at last.

"You didn't know? Princess Koyuki didn't tell you?" The man smirked at my surprised expression.

"... _Princess_ Koyuki?" I repeated.

"Oh, how interesting. She didn't tell you _anything."_ The man's eyes narrowed. "The actress Fujikaze Yukie used to be a girl named Kazahana Koyuki, Snow Country nobility. Her father was the Daimyo. He was an incompetent boob, so his brother took over the job."

"You mean, killed him," I clarified darkly.

"Well... yes. I'm surprised your Sensei didn't tell you. He was the one assigned by the former Daimyo to get Princess Koyuki away. She was about your age at the time. We've been looking for her ever since."

"Why? She's of no use to you." It seemed needlessly cruel.

"She has something of ours. We want it back." The man raised his hands in the air and smiled as if it couldn't be helped. Then he came at me.

That was why - I realized somewhere in the back of my mind. Why Kakashi had wanted to go with us on this mission despite my being a Chuunin. Why he was always watching the Princess. I'd been wondering. It was because for him, it was personal.

The ninja began running through a set of hand seals. He felt confident. A great spike of ice rose up before him and came at me.

I began running through my own set of hand seals. "Any relation to an ice-wielding clan in the Water Country?!" I called out, thinking of Haku, who had also wielded ice.

The ninja laughed. "A dead one!" he said, and I felt a flare of anger curl in the pit of my stomach. I finished my hand seals and called out the name of my jutsu, a purposeful gesture that I had realized released tension, even if it didn't do anything for the fight.

For the first time in a battle, a great dragon of fire arose behind me, proud and fierce. It flew down through the air and burned away all the ice in the ninja's path, hitting him straight through. I lifted a hand to my face from the glare as the ninja's form was wiped out...

Except it wasn't. Because when the dragon faded away and the smoke cleared, there was the man, curled up within his armor, a streak of brown earth running along before him. He still felt confident, if more adrenaline-rushed.

"Sakura, ninjutsu and genjutsu don't work on their armor!" Sasuke called out, his Sharingan active. I looked over to find that he had tried to strangle the woman he was fighting with a tail of seawater; it had wrapped around her neck, but the armor had moved up her neck to protect it, a hard wall fortified by a light sheen of blue chakra. Even as I watched, Sasuke let the water fade away and switched to knife fighting.

"Naruto! Chakra can't get past their armor!" I called to my other side.

"Got it!" Naruto tossed back, and with impressive flexibility, he made a bunch of Kage Bunshin and had them fight taijutsu with the man he was fighting, knocking the man right off some snowboard sort of weapon and kicking him in the face. Apparently, their armor didn't reach their face? ... _Or maybe it was just that the armor only hardened to chakra._

Inspired, I prepared my attack while the ninja was straightening and coming out from his shell. Then I ran at the ninja, speeding my legs up with chakra and kicking out at him from the side. He blocked me and went in to attack, which I blocked; then I reached my hand up as if to grab his face and he blocked me again.

But I hadn't been aiming to catch his face. I'd been aiming to land a tiny slug summons on his face. It attached itself there and immediately began squirting acid into his eyes; he screamed and went to claw at the slug, but he couldn't stab at it because his face was there. I nodded to the slug and it faded away into nothingness. Then, while the man couldn't see, I swept his feet. Then I raised a hand to punch a chakra-strengthened fist right through his face.

And I would have killed him, but there was a sudden hand grabbing my elbow. I looked up to find Kakashi there. "You're our healer," he said. "You've done well, but you can't be fighting."

"But I'm learning how to protect myself from Tsunade -!"

"I can fight him. You're our healer," said Kakashi. "Someone needs you." He nodded meaningfully toward Koyuki, who was shaking on the ground, in the middle of some sort of panic attack. Sandaiyuu, faithful to the end, wouldn't leave her. He looked up at me helplessly.

I went over to Koyuki and kneeled down beside her. "Can you move?" I asked seriously.

"No," she whispered. "No, I _won't_ move." Her eyes stared ahead of herself. "Not again..." She trembled. She must be talking about when she had to leave her home.

I shot chakra into my arm muscles and picked her up bodily, swinging an arm over my shoulder. I nodded to Sandaiyuu and he grabbed the other one. And as I talked Koyuki through it, we carried her back toward her ship.

No matter how I felt about Koyuki, our job was to protect her, after all.


	5. Chapter 5

5.

The minute Kakashi, Sasuke, and Naruto were back on the ship, it left port to go further down the country. I had put Koyuki back into her bed and touched her neck to sink her down into unconsciousness. She needed rest, that was all.

The rest of us - director, cast and crew, Sandaiyuu - all met in a room on the lower deck of the ship. "Good job, Sakura," said Kakashi. "Because of you, I managed to kill one. The other two retreated after that."

" _That's_ why they left?" Everyone looked around at Sasuke, whose eyes were wide. "You're telling me she managed to fell one and we didn't -" He looked at me, frustrated, helpless, and I realized too late that Sasuke might not exactly have come out from Itachi's attack as stable as we'd thought. Then Sasuke stormed from the room.

I looked at Naruto and we went after him.

* * *

He was standing up on the bow of the ship, clenching the railing, looking out over the water. The wind whipped his dark hair and his jawline was tight. His chakra was all over the place and high strung; I wasn't experienced enough to get a clear read.

"... Sasuke," I said cautiously, "you did really well, too." It was ridiculous, to have to affirm this for him constantly.

"I did as well as _Naruto_ ," Sasuke said disparagingly. "All I can do is evoke your _pity_." Naruto made an angry sound, but I could hear the shaky quality to Sasuke's voice. His hands were shaking, too, where they clenched the railing.

"Sasuke," I said slowly, carefully, "whatever Itachi's done to you, we can -"

But at the name, Sasuke suddenly whirled around, exploding. " _Itachi_ would have been able to kill all three of them! You know, sometimes, I think he was right?" Sasuke laughed harshly, humorlessly. "Sometimes I think I'm never going to be as strong as I need to be in Konoha."

"Sasuke, you asshole, what you're talking about is treason!" Naruto was flabbergasted.

" _Itachi_ got as strong as he needed to be in Konoha!" I argued, suddenly afraid.

"Itachi _left_!"

"He was an ANBU captain -!"

" _I'm not Itachi!"_

The words were screamed, pained.

"... You don't _understand,"_ said Sasuke. "I can constantly hear them. My parents' voices. _Screaming_ for revenge in my ears." His eyes were wide, his face pale and blank. "And I can't - and I never can -" He wasn't making sense anymore.

"Sasuke, _please_ ," I said, and I realized there were tears stinging my eyes. "Please don't leave. Please don't say that again."

"What would I have to stay for -?" His face had twisted.

"I love you."

I shouldn't have said it. I really shouldn't have said it. It came to me without thinking.

Dead silence fell on the ship. Naruto looked surprised and hurt. Sasuke... Sasuke was just. Staring at me. It was the most humiliating thing I had ever felt in my life.

"... You're one of _them_?" he asked at last disbelievingly.

"No, I -!" I turned around, the tears still swimming in my eyes. I wasn't an adult ninja then. I was just a twelve-year-old girl talking to a boy I'd liked in secret for six years. "I knew you'd get that idea, but I'm not -! I'm not just another one of your fangirls!"

"You all want the same thing," said Sasuke in a hard voice.

"No, Sasuke, I love you, I really do!" I whirled around, suddenly desperate, for him to _know,_ for him to _understand._

"You all want something! You - ever since my family was murdered! All of you! Everyone around me! You've all just been _ugly!_ And _you_ , I thought you were _different_! But all of you want something from me! You're ugly, just like the rest of them!" His eyes were wide and wild, but he could not take the words back that he had said.

And suddenly, my chest hurt so much that I felt remarkably calm. My tears had dried. I looked into his eyes and saw only disgust. It was a very ugly emotion, on his face. He was not remotely beautiful now.

I think that was when I at last saw Sasuke for who he really was.

"That," I said quietly, "is ridiculous. But thank you for telling me what I really needed to hear." I turned away.

"Sakura-cha -!" Naruto began, stunned.

"No," I said. "I think I'm done here. I won't be troubling him again."

And that moment when I walked away. That _moment._ Is when I finally gave up on a crush, on a six-year-old daydream.

* * *

Wiping my tears, I walked downstairs and right past the room where Kakashi and the others were waiting. Kakashi saw my face and he stood, his eyes widening in alarm. "Sakura -!"

I walked right past him and into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind me.

What I did might not have seemed dramatic to others. I unwound my hair from its bun, letting it fall loose around me. And then I took a kunai, and I cut all my hair off.

It was cathartic, really. My head getting lighter, all the pink locks falling away onto the floor. I had never liked my hair long, had I? I'd only worn it that way for Sasuke. And that, I suddenly realized, had been _stupid._

 _Do things because you want to,_ said a voice in my head, and it sounded strangely like Kurenai's.

So I cut all my hair off. I cut it into a cute little pixie cut, with my bangs still framing my face. Then I took up my hitai-ate again, and tied it around my neck like a kerchief, again emphasizing my breast line.

I looked in the mirror... and through the tear tracks, I smiled. I felt - abruptly - freed.

* * *

I was quiet when I went back out and sat beside Kakashi-sensei. He was looking between me and Naruto, who was sitting silent and dark at the table. Sasuke was nowhere to be seen.

I saw Naruto's knuckles and gasped. "Naruto - your knuckles are bruised - there's blood all over them! What happened?!"

"What do you think happened? I punched the asshole in the face," Naruto snapped. "He's just sitting out there now. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with him."

I smiled despite myself, my eyes burning again. I went over to Naruto. "Naruto," I said, "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, you know." He smiled through the pain, as was his wont. "It just - it explains a lot."

I reached over, and hugged him. He was a good friend, I realized. Maybe the best one I had. Naruto relaxed after a moment, and he hugged me back, breathing deeply.

Then I gently took Naruto's hand, wiping all the blood away - Sasuke's blood - and healing it in a flash of green. We looked up at one another, and smiled.

Kakashi cleared his throat.

I turned around, and sat business-like back at the table. "Right," I said as though nothing had happened. "We have work to do. How coincidental does anyone think it is that Princess Koyuki is being taken back to Snow Country - out of all the places in the world she could have been taken to - and at the exact same time her former guard was assigned to a mission with her? I mean, that's pretty coincidental, right?" Naruto and I proceeded to glare at everyone in the room who was not us.

I felt lots of agitation.

"... I did recognize her," Kakashi admitted at last, reservedly. "When I heard she might be in trouble..."

"I requested ninja because I knew something like this was going to happen," Sandaiyuu admitted at last. "I knew who she was, all along." We stared at him, mystified, and he sighed.

" _I had to get her back to Snow. I am from Snow, actually. The last time I saw Kazahana Koyuki, she was very young. It is not surprising that she would not remember me. I used to serve at the side of this country's previous Daimyo, Kazahana Sousetsu-sama._

" _Snow was a small but peaceful country. Sousetsu-sama loved the princess very much and they lived a peaceful life. Everything was as it should be, as tradition dictated was right. Ten years ago, Sousetsu-sama's brother Dotou hired some ninja that he then put in his personal employ. Using them, he revolted and took over the country. He burned Kazahana Castle, and we thought that we'd lost the princess alongside her father. But apparently Sousetsu-sama suspected his brother's treason. He hired a ninja from a different village to take Koyuki-sama to safety. A ninja who wore a mask, so no one could see what he looked like."_

Here, Sandaiyuu noddedto Kakashi.

" _Samurai though I was, I couldn't win against them with the forces we had. I ran away and have gathered a number of rebel warriors together. I found advertisements for the princess on stage, and immediately recognized her. I went to find her again, and managed to become her personal assistant, all with the idea of leading her back to Snow to lead our revolt. I was overjoyed that the princess... that she had managed to survive..."_

Sandaiyuu started crying.

* * *

The director decided he would continue leading us around and filming us for what he called "my final movie - my masterpiece." He said it would be a movie with leanings toward a documentary. I warned them that it seemed the Snow nin felt safest in their home environment. They would surely attack as soon as we left the ship for icy land. The crew seemed excited. _Great. That's almost worse than fear._

I mentioned that the Snow nin said they wanted something, something that once belonged to the Kazahana family, and Kakashi claimed, "I've taken care of that." His expression was so serious that I had to trust him.

Everything was set but Yukie.

"How are we going to convince the Princess to continue on the siege in Snow Country?" I asked.

"Screw her! This is too cool to put up with her bad attitude!" said Naruto.

"But Naruto, we have to -! A movie is one thing, but we can't just make her do this against her will!" I argued.

"I'll go to her quarters afterward. I'll wake her and convince her," said Kakashi. "Now that Dotou has found her, the only way for her to be truly safe is for him to die."

"And we can't go back to Konoha and get more people," I said worriedly. "We can't ask the village to get officially involved with something as political as this."

"They may have to say the client lied about the request details," Kakashi added, "if this fails."

"Why are _you_ getting involved with something as political as this?" Sandaiyuu asked then, sharply.

I shrugged. "The Daimyo seat was originally hers," I said simply. "We are just returning it to her."

Kakashi had already left the room to talk to Koyuki.

* * *

We were walking back toward our rooms on the ship, Naruto and I, and we decided to stop in and check on Kakashi and Koyuki. "I bet she's yelling at him," Naruto snickered.

We snuck up to the door and listened - but there was no shouting. Only this weird sort of... other sound. And I felt sharply moving chakra again. We looked at each other, puzzled, raising our eyebrows. We moved the door a little and peeked in, sure we were about to get yelled at by our Sensei...

And we found Kakashi and Koyuki making out.

"Whoa," Naruto whispered under his breath. "A princess. _Nice."_

"He told me he _liked_ being single," I muttered back.

And, of course, Naruto just had to laugh and burst into the room. "Hey, Kakashi-sensei, I thought you liked being single!" The two gasped, breaking apart.

" _Not right now I don't, Naruto,"_ said Kakashi meaningfully. But Koyuki, tears in her eyes, gasped and slapped him, running from the room.

Not about to help Naruto from getting punished by our Sensei for being a dumb loudmouth, I hurried down the hall after the girl I finally just started thinking of in my head as Yuki.

I'd still had enough time to register it, though: underneath the mask, Sensei was pretty hot.

* * *

I sat down next to a sniffling Yuki in a dark corner of the lower deck. She stared ahead of herself morosely.

"I'm so dumb," she said. "I don't know what I was expecting."

"I know the feeling," I returned, thinking of Sasuke.

Yuki looked over at me suspiciously. "I don't like you," she said.

"I don't like you either," I told her simply. "But men suck."

"Men suck," she agreed.

"So, will you be okay?" I asked. "The only way to escape death is to come along with us as we kill Dotou."

Yuki looked away. I felt the fear again, and could understand it more this time. Not that I had the patience for it. Was she just thinking of running off again?

"Or you can just wander off and get killed," I said sharply, standing. "Fine. See if I care." She flinched and continued looking away, but I thought I saw some of the rebelliousness fade from her expression. In that moment, I felt a little sorry for her.

I walked off back toward my room, and nearly ran into Sasuke. I stopped, and then made myself look at him coldly. "Get Sensei to fill you in on the details," I said, and turned away.

"Sakura -" He stopped my arm, touching me again. His emotions had gone from sharp to fond, pained, and that was what made it hard. "I'm not defecting," he said quietly. "Where else am I going to go?"

What did he expect me to be? Happy? I still couldn't stop picturing his disgusted face, the way he'd called me ugly, said the world was ugly.

Lee wouldn't have called me ugly. Nor Naruto. Even Gaara, at his most raving insane, had told me he'd thought my blood would be beautiful.

I went over all the things I'd learned about Sasuke. His perfectionism. His instability. His constant need for care. His constant need to be stronger than everyone around him. His bitterness when he wasn't. And now he'd told me I was ugly, ugly just like the rest of the world.

I deserved someone better.

"Great," I said softly, and pulled myself out of his grip, going back into my room and shutting the door. Pain in my heart.

* * *

Now that we knew how political was this thing we were up against, we switched into "official ninja gear": dark suits with masks, cloaks, and gloves. A warmer version of the same outfit we had used for the Jye-Kura mission. As soon as we reached a snowy shoreline, the ship docked and we all moved out on sleds, up hills, using maps, toward the prescribed shooting destinations. Each sled was covered and had a charcoal heater on the inside. There were windows. I watched the world pass by from my own: the beautiful snowy countryside, dotted with evergreens. Spring rarely came to Snow, but perhaps Snow did not need it, I thought. Then I dismissed myself as a romantic.

I stayed in the same sled as Yuki. She didn't want to be with Kakashi, and I was the next strongest. I also didn't want to be in the same sled as Sasuke. Yuki was rather quiet, sulking and staring morosely out the window.

We finished filming at one location, and then drove right through a long tunnel with stalactites and stalagmites glowing from the ceiling and floor, covered in a light sheen of ice. On the other side of the tunnel was supposed to be the place where the rebels were gathered. We still hadn't seen hide nor hair of our enemies, and that made me on edge.

We came out on the other side, and as we climbed out of our sleds, there was a low rumbling. We looked around in dread... And then a giant machine followed us through, big and black and loud, deadly fast and on wheels! We all leaped out of the way, some of the sleds being crushed and pushed aside in the machine's wake. A huge man who had to be Dotou stood in armor, a wannabe ninja, alongside the two real ninja left, atop the machine.

Before we could do anything, though, the rebels did the stupidest thing possible. They ran in samurai armor over the hill toward the machine. "CHARGE!" Sandaiyuu shouted, running toward the machine with them to kill Dotou.

"No!" I shouted, and Kakashi swore. (The crew had already packed up their things and started running in the other direction to hide, so at least they were smarter.)

Sure enough, the machine had come prepared with built in defenses. It threw countless rounds of kunai at the rebels, felling them as they came. Blood leaked into the snow as rebel after rebel fell in the strange machine's wake. I'd give this to Dotou and his men: they were smart. They knew technology.

Then the two remaining snow nin leaped down toward the machine's other side, where my teammates were with Yuki. They were angry. "You _killed_ our _brother,"_ the girl growled, and then she came straight at me and Kakashi. I tensed myself in preparation -

Right before Sasuke jumped in front of me. "You want her?" he said coolly. "You'll have to go through _me."_ Naruto had already leaped at the other nin to engage him in battle.

The ninja fought with ice and technology, vengefully, emotionally, and personally. This was actually not the advantage it seemed: they got sloppy. They were fierce, but sloppy. Naruto and Sasuke fought with learned precision. Kakashi, meanwhile, was waiting in the wings for when one of them needed help.

Meanwhile, as the healer, I reluctantly stayed behind with Yuki, guarding her, my kunai knife out. I saw Dotou run unfettered across the snow and threw the kunai at him, but he flicked a hand almost lazily and his armor blocked it, even as he jumped over the cliff to the ground below. He had abandoned his machine. He must have something else.

The minute Dotou left, the two ninja backed up reluctantly and retreated, still angry, but following their master over the cliff. They blocked attacks from Naruto and Sasuke with a wall of ice as they left.

We waited, tensed for a moment, and then realized nothing followed after this. They'd destroyed the rebel uprising - at least part of their work was done. The only one still alive was the Princess.

But that would change if I had anything to say about it.

Most of the samurai had not died, but were just dying. I drove myself to exhaustion trying to heal who I could. I managed to completely heal Sandaiyuu, and then he led me around to all the most important and experienced warriors, so I could heal them as well. It felt cold, prioritizing like this, but I couldn't heal an entire brigade.

I sat back, breathing hard, after it was all over. The remaining warriors were solemn and quiet.

Then Dotou suddenly made his reappearance. A great motor-powered air balloon ship rose up over the cliff and above us. A metal arm snatched out, and grabbed at Yuki, lifting her onto the ship. Naruto just managed to attach himself to the ship with kunai and ninja wire; he was lifted off and away as I cried out. Sandaiyuu jumped, and managed to cling onto Naruto, being pulled away too in the wake of the ship. It disappeared into the air.

"We have to follow them," said Kakashi in a deadly serious tone to the remaining ninja team and warriors.

"To get Naruto?" I asked.

"Well, that. And also, the Princess doesn't have the key necklace they want from her. I replaced it with a fake.

"And if they find that out, they are going to kill her."

* * *

Channeling chakra into our legs, me and my teammates and the remaining warriors climbed mountains, jumping across cliffs and running alongside the back of the ship. I was already tired, and this was hard for me.

"Sakura!" Kakashi barked, all seriousness. "Can you get us in?"

Despite my tiredness, I nodded.

Then Kakashi said, "Sasuke!" Sasuke threw out twin strings of ninja wire, twining them around each other to create a stronger rope and attaching them to the ship in a perfectly flowed movement. He pulled it taut and the other samurai ran across, balancing carefully. Then we ran across and onto the ship.

We were standing there on the ship, the sharp wind buffeting our hair. We found a door at the top of the air ship, and opened it to climb via ladder down into the contents below. My hands shook, so Sasuke held me up - me forcing myself not react - as I made a hand seal and weaved an invisibility genjutsu around us. We made it down through the entryway and through a set of metal doors unfettered. The security cameras hadn't picked us up.

There, we ran into - to our eternal surprise - Naruto and Yuki.

"Naruto!" I said. "What happened?"

"We burst in and Sandaiyuu died trying to save the princess," said Naruto seriously. Yuki looked away, pained. "Then the ninja snuck up behind me and put this chakra sucking device on me. They stuck me down in a holding cell on the ship. I waited till they were gone, then destroyed the device with Kyuubi chakra and broke out. I found the Princess's holding cell and broke her out, too."

"The crystal key around my neck was a fake," said Yuki. She scowled at Kakashi sullenly. "You switched it."

Kakashi shrugged. "Sorry. I thought they'd be after it, and I couldn't risk them getting your father's hidden treasure. Even at the cost of your life." Unrepentant, he then gave the crystal back to her.

We used my genjutsu and climbed back out to the roof of the ship. By then, I was physically shaking from mild chakra exhaustion, and so was Naruto. I gave us some mild pills to keep our energy levels up. Meanwhile, Sasuke used chakra in his feet to climb down and hang upside down by the ship's motor, preparing an explosive tag.

Kakashi grabbed Yuki, who did not seem to like being held by him, even when it was necessary. "Get ready to jump!" Kakashi shouted. Then the ship exploded.

We leaped down onto the nearest icy mountain, watching the fiery remains of the ship explode down with a crash into the freezing valley below. Dotou and his two ninja were surely all dead, along with whoever had been piloting the aircraft. I stared down into the valley for a moment.

The samurai started cheering, but Yuki and my teammates were solemn.

* * *

We went to go see what the key was used for. Not even Yuki knew. We rendezvoused back with the film crew, and then we all took a trip on sleds to the rainbow glaciers, where the key was to be used. The glaciers were dull. There was a built in little pagoda in their center. The crystal key was put in, and then generators buried in the ground began rumbling, melting away the snow, revealing the ground, lighting up the rainbow glaciers. The warmth continued on into the valley below.

"He covered the entire country in generators," said Naruto wonderingly. It was wasteful, perhaps, but a beautiful gesture for the country. He and I were sitting supported by Sasuke, unable to move well, suffering mild chakra exhaustion. We should have been back at the sleds, really. But we'd wanted to see.

There were tears in Yuki's eyes. She smiled. "He'd always wanted me to be able to see spring," she said. And then she started crying.

* * *

My team was there in the audience when Yuki was made Daimyo of Snow Country. The film crew was there, filming the entire thing. She sat on her great throne, an empty space beside her for a missing Sandaiyuu. The remaining samurai stood, solemn and tall, in great state around her. Yuki looked overwhelmed.

Kakashi watched for a moment, and then walked over to put a hand on each of our shoulders.

"We're done here," he said quietly. And we left.

* * *

We made it back to Konoha on the film crew's sleds. There was no snow when we arrived back at home either, the spring buds first opening, the trees becoming green again. The sun was bright and warm. I lifted my face to it, dusting the snow from off my shoulders.

Spring meant it was time for my birthday. I was thirteen. A teenager at last.

I slept in on my birthday, until Mom and Dad came charging in with pancakes, singing and tickling me, waking me up. I laughed and sat up straight despite myself. "Hey!" I said. "I'm a little old for that!"

My parents complained loudly about my attitude, grinning. We smiled at each other.

I had the pancakes, and then when afternoon came people started arriving at the house. I'd saved it for later, knowing I'd never get up. Naruto came over, along with Hinata, Ino, Kakashi, Kurenai, Tsunade, Shizune, Jiraiya, and Iruka. Sasuke came, too.

"I didn't think you'd want me here," he said, looking away, standing shyly on my doorstep. He was still very hot.

I looked at him coldly for a moment. "... Of course I'd want you here," I said at last. "You're still my friend."

For some reason, he felt sad.

I mostly sat back and watched everyone play video games on the big TV in the living room. Naruto competed wildly and emotionally with almost everyone he played against, getting really excited. Fittingly, only Hinata managed to beat him. He tied with Sasuke a lot. Ino got to chatting and gossiping with some of the older women. The adults drank, laughing and joking with each other. Mom was nice to everyone, even Naruto, on account of the day.

At the end of the day, there was a birthday cake presented to me ceremoniously as everyone sang me happy birthday. I blew out the candles, and as I closed my eyes, as childish as perhaps it was, I wished. I wished for a good year. A year full of good luck and love.

But the day wasn't over. When I went back up to my bedroom that night, after everyone else had gone home, I saw a hawk waiting for me on the windowsill. A smile grew on my face before I'd even realized it would be appearing. I went over to the window and took out the note. It said simply:

 _Happy birthday._

 _Gaara_

I sat down at my desk, and resolved to write back.


End file.
